Moirae
by Henri's Boots
Summary: It's funny how fate works. It complicates everything, but then makes things so much easier. It also brought the miserable, sulky Rhubarb N. Custard to K'nuckles, along with the trouble that follows her. Is that such a bad thing though...? Possibly...
1. Prologue

The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack belongs to Thurop Van Orman.

* * *

Prologue

"Flapjack, baby, uh…" Bubbie paused, bringing a flipper to her lower lip in thought "Go and see if Dr. Barber has discovered any new diseases."

"But-"

"Go on, Pumpkin."

Flapjack bit his lip, looking from the whale to the blue faced man sat with his back to him on the dock, his legs hanging over the side as he glared downwards at the murky waters, only brightened by the traces of orange reflected in the ripples from the setting sun on the horizon.

His captain was in big trouble with his guardian. Again.

The young boy heaved a deep sigh and lowered his head, turning away and disappearing down the dock and into the town of Stormalong.

Bubbie watched him leave, and then, when he was finally out of ear shot, she turned a stern eye on Captain K'nuckles.

"K'NUCKLES!"

The Captain was not fazed by the deafening bellow of his name, his brow furrowed as he looked up from the half empty bottle of Maple Syrup in his wooden hands. There was a moment where the whale and the adventurer glared at one another, before Bubbie twisted her mouth, her eyes narrowing.

"I've had it with you, Mister," she began, jabbing K'nuckles roughly in the shoulder a couple of times, so he tilted automatically sideways "If I've told you once, I've told you a MILLION times; I don't want my baby getting into any more trouble!"

"He's fine, isn't he?! I got him back in one piece, didn't I?!" The Captain argued, pointing the neck of the bottle of syrup at her, before taking several large gulps of the sweet, sticky liquid. He shuddered and smacked his lips.

"No, K'nuckles, you didn't! _I_ got him back in one piece. _You_, Mister, were being lugged to safety by _him_. TIED UP!"

"Argh, details, details!" K'nuckles waved his arms dismissively.

"Yes, DETAILS! He could have been killed!"

"But he wasn't!"

"BUT HE COULD HAVE BEEN!" Bubbie roared, slamming her "hands" down on the dock so it rumbled beneath his grotty old boots "FO' ONE REASON OR ANOTHER, K'NUCKLES, HE LOOKS UP TO YOU! HE THINKS THE SUN SHINES OUTTA THAT WOODEN KEESTER O' YOURS! YET _YOU_ KEEP LEADING HIM INTO TROUBLE!"

"BUILDS CHARACTER!"

"NOT IF IT KILLS HIM, IT DON'T!"

The Captain gritted his teeth for a moment, and then heaved a deep sigh.

"Look, Bubbie, next time, I promise, I'll be more careful."

"Next time?! What makes you think there's gonna BE a next time?"

K'nuckles stared, his mouth agape. His lips then suddenly stretched from a 'O' shape to a wide grin, and he gave a hearty laugh.

"Good one, whale," he wiped a tear from his eye, taking one last gulp of syrup, before looking back at the whale's face. She wasn't smiling with him "Oh, c'mon, Bubbie, you wouldn't seriously bar me from little Flapjack, would ye? He'd be devastated! You don't wanna see his little heart break, do ye?"

"Of course I don't, K'nuckles, but he'd get over it."

"But he needs me!"

"No, K'nuckles. Flapjack don't need _you_. _You_ need _him._"

The Captain scowled, turning away and folding his arms.

"Captain K'nuckles don't need nobody," he huffed.

"Captain, he says," Bubbie scoffed, rolling her eyes "Captain K'nuckles. Just what, _Captain_, are you Captain _of_, exactly?"

K'nuckles immediately went to reply, his mouth held open and a wooden finger pointed matter-of-factly towards the sky, but when a reply failed to reach his thoughts, his brow furrowed further, and he closed his mouth, looking down at his boots.

"Oh, that's right. You ain't Captain o' nothin', are you? You' just a washed up ole' sailor without a penny to yo' name, feeding lies to the one person who looks up to you the most, and then leadin' him into trouble, with no remorse about the matter so long as _you_ don't get hurt. Humph. Some Captain."

The blue faced adventurer continued to stare down at his boots, his blood boiling in his veins, before a low, dangerous growl rumbled from his throat, and in one sweeping movement of his wooden claws, he lifted the now empty bottle of syrup up into the air and then smashed it against the wooden boards of the dock. His breathing was heavy as he then turned his gaze back to the whale, who stared back with an equally angered glare.

"Get outta here, K'nuckles. And don't think you' comin' back."

K'nuckles stared and then threw the neck of the bottle into the ocean, before turning and clunking angrily down the dock towards the town, the rusty hinges in his knees creaking with every step.

"Hey! Hey, Cap'n!" K'nuckles didn't look at Flapjack as he came running excitedly towards him "You'll never guess what Dr. Barber-"

"Not now, boy," he grumbled, pushing him out of his way.

"W… Where you goin'?"

"Out," he replied, leaving the Cabin boy to stare after him "Don't follow me."

The Captain spent a good two hours or so clunking about the town, with no real thought on a destination, brooding to himself over Bubbie's words before he finally returned to the dock.

The sun had been fully swallowed by the horizon, and the sky had grown dark, bar the stars that twinkled happily overhead. The silhouette of the whale, his home, could be just made out in the light of the moon. He heaved a deep, tired sigh and hobbled along the dock towards the harbour, finally reaching Bubbie, whose eyes were sealed shut with sleep. K'nuckles looked tiredly up at her hidden eyes, before yawning and then slipping his wooden hands between her lips. He pulled, but they remained sealed tightly. He grunted in frustration and then pulled again, but her lips simply wouldn't part and allow him entrance.

He looked up, to see that her eyes were no longer closed, just visible in the dim light of the moon, glaring at him.

The Captain withdrew his hands.

"Just what do you think you' doin'? she asked, her brow furrowing as she folded her flippers.

"I'm going to bed, Bubbie, I'm exhausted."

"Oh, no you don't. Have you forgotten what I said earlier?" K'nuckles said nothing, just stared, confused "I told you to go, and not to come back."

"Oh, c'mon, Bubbie, can't we let bygones be bygones?"

"No, K'nuckles. I've had it with you always leading my baby into trouble."

K'nuckles stared in both horror and disbelief. The whale had kicked him out plenty of times, but had always let him come back after an hour or so, after she had had time to cool down. His brow furrowed, a growl rumbling in his throat.

Suddenly, he jumped up and latched onto her skin, heaving himself up onto her back, clinging tighter as she thrashed about, splashing noisily in the harbour's waters, trying to throw him off as he hoisted himself towards her blowhole. She failed to shake him loose before he had wormed his way through the passage into her mouth, landing heavily on her tongue, where Flapjack slept, but before he could even so much as say anything to the boy, the whale immediately spat him back out onto the dock.

"NO MEANS NO, K'NUCKLES!"

"Cap'n?" K'nuckles looked up to see Flapjack pushing his way up through his guardian's blowhole, and peering tiredly at him "Guys, what's going on?"

"She's not lettin' me in!" the Captain yelled, flailing his arms.

"Flapjack, baby, go back to sleep."

"Just let me in, Bubbie! I promise I'll be more careful!"

The Cabin boy watched as his Captain bickered with the whale about his lack of responsibility, how he had no concept of other people and how he should be more careful with the young boy. Flapjack never saw any flaw in what K'nuckles told him to do. Making mistakes is a part of every great adventure. But Bubbie would always tell him that his Captain used him, making him do anything he himself didn't want to do. Flapjack believed him to be the greatest adventure to have ever existed, so he would gladly do anything for him, even if it endangered his life.

The boy loved him, and the one thing Bubbie simply couldn't stand was that her baby gave this man all this love, like he was his Father and he clearly meant the world to him, yet K'nuckles would use this love to take advantage of him. When she knew, deep down, he loved the Cabin boy in return.

Perhaps denying the Captain access to the young boy would finally knock some sense into him. And if it didn't, at least her little boy would be safe from any further harm.

The bickering continued, and by this point, Flapjack simply couldn't stand it. He clenched his fists and heaved himself out of Bubbie's blowhole, so he was now balanced on her back, taking a long, deep breath.

"QUIET!" he shrieked, and the other two, the whale and the pirate, came to a sudden silence. They stared up at him, watching as the expression of anger carved into his features deteriorated into one of sadness. He hung his head and sighed "K'nuckles… Maybe…"

"What, Flappy?" the Captain asked, hopefully. His Cabin boy bit his lip.

"Maybe… You should just go… I'm… Really tired."

K'nuckles stared upwards towards Flapjack with those tired, sunken-in eyes of his, his heart sinking, before he hung his head miserably down to face his boots. He looked back at the boy.

"Oh…" he murmured, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his favourite coat, worn and caked with grime "Well… What ever you want, boy…"

And then, after a sharing a melancholy stare with the young boy, he turned and clunked and creaked and rattled down the dock, leaving the Cabin boy to stare miserably after him.

"Puddin'? You alright?"

He sniffed.

"No."

Captain K'nuckles heaved a tired, miserable sigh as he pushed open the swing doors of the Candy Barrel and traipsed inside. In all the time he had lived in Stormalong, even from when he was a little boy, even younger than Flapjack, the bar hadn't changed in the slightest. All that had changed was whoever was running it.

The current bartender was a tall, skinny man with neat, mousy brown hair known as Peppermint Larry, whose smile, though wide, and generally welcoming to paying customers, was made somewhat eerie-looking by the ever present sight of his over-sized gums. He had owned the candy-selling bar for a good ten years now, with his Candy Wife, who could be seen sat still, stiff and silent in a corner seat on the left hand side of the room, usually.

To the Captain, there had always been a warm, soothing aura about the building, be it because of the multi-coloured lights, or the large, glass jars of delicious looking sweets, or even Larry's hearty laugh which echoed annoyingly, yet familiarly, through his ears. Or, perhaps, it was the different array of familiar faces. Sailors whom, although he was only really acquainted with them, he had a fairly decent rapport with and could easily have a good chat with about past or present experiences, whether they be the truest of truths or the tallest of tales. And then, one face that generally stood out amongst the collection of tired looking sailors, was that of a busty, young lady, who, really, would have been quite pretty if her face didn't have a dark, bitter scowl carved into it.

K'nuckles surveyed the building from left to right, and then hobbled heavily towards the counter, hopping up onto one of the burgundy, cushioned seats opposite the smiley bartender.

"Good evenin', Cap'n," Larry's smile seemed to falter, slightly, as he spoke to the Captain, which, really, wasn't particularly odd "No Flapjack, tonight?"

"Nope."

"So… What brings you here, this fine evening?"

"Fine. Humph. What's so fine about it?" he scoffed. When the bartender said nothing and simply beamed at him, he sighed "Just gimme the usual."

"As I recall, Captain, the only "usual" I ever get from you is your lack of money," Larry laughed. He always laughed. One had to wonder if perhaps it was a nervous habit, or if he just found everything genuinely hilarious "So, is it the usual?"

K'nuckles grumbled and folded his arms. There wasn't really much point in replying.

The sound of glass running smoothly across the wooden surface could be heard briefly, causing him to look up to see a pretty much full glass of candy as it gently bumped into his elbow. He then turned his gaze from the glass in the direction it had come from.

His eyes landed on the figure that was Ms. Rhubarb N. Custard, who was sat in her usual spot about five or so seats away from him, her back arched forwards and elbows rested on the counter top. She wasn't facing him, but he could see her dark eyes watching him, narrowed and apathetic.

"Is this for me?" he asked, and she gave a short, blunt nod.

"If ye wan'it."

K'nuckles raised his eyebrows "Well, don't you?"

"Larry!" the young woman suddenly barked gruffly to the bartender "Same again!"

"Sure thing, Ms. Rhubarb," came his chortled reply, and the Captain looked at the glass again, and then shrugged, grabbing the handle and taking in a mouthful of candy.

"Uh, thanks, I guess."

She made no reply.

"Here we are, Ms. Rhubarb," Larry chuckled as he placed a new glass on the counter for her, and she nodded in thanks, placing a couple of coins on the counter in return, before picking the glass up and pouring candy into her mouth, crunching on the boiled sweets, her sour face unchanged.

Whenever K'nuckles paid a generally unappreciated visit to the Candy Barrel, this young woman, well-rounded and chocolate-skinned, would always be sat in the same seat, hunched over the counter with a furrowed brow and a large glass of syrup or candy. Day after day. Night after night. He sometimes wondered if she ever went home. If she had a home, that was.

But not only did she waste her life at the quaint little candy bar, there was also something else that labelled her as "different" in comparison to every other young woman in Stormalong. She had been coming for months on end, and every time he saw her, she was _never_ wearing a dress.

Ever.

Every other woman the Captain knew of rarely came into the Candy Barrel at all (well, not without the intention of seducing fellow patrons), let alone dressed like a sailor, in worn, grotty boots and a grimy shirt with loose, wide sleeves. But then, Ms. Custard was hardly normal, it seemed, as she downed the glass of candy Larry had just set on the counter for her.

"So, what troubles you tonight, Ms. Rhubarb?" the bartender asked brightly, refilling her glass without her even asking.

"Dee usual."

K'nuckles looked at her from his now empty glass of candy.

"You've yet to enlighten me on what the "usual" is, young miss."

She said nothing. She looked from her glass back towards the Captain and there eyes locked for a moment.

"Fill 'im up."

She set a few more coins on the counter, and the bartender did as he was told. The Captain raised his eyebrows and shrugged again as his glass was refilled.

"Uh, thanks… Again," he replied, puzzling briefly as to why the young lady was being so generous towards him. They'd never really spoken before. They'd passed comment between each other once or twice in the past, but K'nuckles couldn't recall ever having a proper conversation with her.

He looked about the bar, which, though heart warming in appearance, felt considerably colder without little boy Flapjack sat spinning in the chair beside him. Then he turned his head back to the young lady. The Captain heaved a deep sigh and hopped from his stool, hobbling up to the seat beside her and clambering up.

"Evenin'."

She said nothing, only opened her mouth and took in another mouthful of candy.

They sat in an awkward silence for a minute or so, before Ms. Custard suddenly span in her seat, away from the bar, and got down, heading towards one of the booths, and sliding into a seat, leaving the Captain to sit alone at the bar. Had he offended her or something?

It seemed not, as she looked at him with those dull, black eyes, then nodded towards the seat on the other side of her chosen table. He blinked, then carefully took his glass in both hands, wriggling from his stool and clunking across the room to the booth. He sat down, looking awkwardly from those eyes, to Peppermint Larry, to those dull eyes, to the Candy Wife sat lifeless in the corner, then once again to those hard, sunken-in eyes. He fidgeted uncomfortably.

"… What?" he frowned. She pouted her lips and furrowed her brow, humming in thought.

"So…" her voice was, for once, clear "What trouble' you, tonight, Captain?"

He raised his eyebrows. For one thing, she was actually asking how he was. For a second, there were very few people, past Flapjack, who ever called him "Captain". He shifted in his seat, with the slightest smile of pure arrogance on his face, before he replied "Nothin'."

"I hehte liars," she took a few gulps of candy and wiped her mouth up her sleeve. And stared. He stared back, swallowing loudly and turning his gaze to the floor.

"… Fine. Screwed up with Flapjack, now Bubbie ain't lettin' me see 'im."

The faintest of faint smiles appeared on her lips "Humph… You and Bubbie; you be like a married couple; alway' bickerin' away 'boat dat little blonde boy."

K'nuckles spluttered indignantly "A married couple?! Ms. Custard, she's a WHALE."

"I said LIKE," she frowned at him "I nawt sayin' you be a couple."

"Humph…" he scowled, crossing his arms and sulking for a moment. He then looked back at her "How do you know so much about us, anyway? You never leave the bar."

"Da's what you tink," her eyes were closed as she drew candy into her mouth "I leabe dee bar when it close', at midnight, den come back when it opens, at four. What d'you tink I do when it's shut, here? "

"See, I just assumed they kept you in the cupboard or something," he smiled slightly, a chuckle in his words "A busty little ornament, to sit at the bar. Perhaps a way to attract seedy sailors, eh?"

"It' nice to know you tink so highly ob me, Captain."

"Call me K'nuckles, Ms. Custard."

"Call me Rhubarb, Kuh'nuhckahles. Or Ms. Rhubarb, if you prefer. Dawn't matter tuh me, eeder weh."

"Seems a fair enough deal."

"Agreed."

He tilted his head to the side.

"… Pretty young lady like you, though, Rhubarb… Why waste your life here in the Candy Barrel?"

"World be full o' people who judge and expect tings ob ya," she replied, finishing her glass of candy and setting it down on the table with a clunk and a satisfied sigh "People dawn't judge, 'ere, 'cept dem prissy sticks dat flounce in 'ere and sit in any old sailor' lap."

He shook his head "And you dress so much like a sailor… You'd look nice in one of those posh frocks. And I know you have the money, for one; You've been buyin' me candy, all night."

She glared at him, her eyes considerably darker.

"Frocks bring back old memories. Besides, if I were to wear a dress, I'd probably git scurby dawgs like you, looking up it."

"I would disagree, but you've said already that you hate liars," she kicked him, hard, under the table, but he only sat there looking smug "Don't hurt, darlin'. They're made of wood."

"Attractive."

"Well, I'd like to think so," he grinned at her. She snorted, running her finger around the rim of her glass, and then looked up at him.

"Wha'aapen to ya to git yerself kicked out, anyweh, Kuh'nuhkahles?"

It took K'nuckles a moment to understand her "Oh… I don't really wanna talk about it."

She cocked her head to the side.

"Whatever it be… Did it happen because you be inconsiderate?"

K'nuckles looked up at her indignantly, an insulted scowl on his face "Who says I'm inconsiderate?!"

"Nawbody. Too obvious for anyone to seh."

That was it. The Captain stood up and slammed his hands down on the table, leaning over it and glaring down at her. She only stared back, eyes dull, but ears alert.

"Look here, Missy, I don't know who you think you are, but you've got a lot o' nerve tellin' me I'm inconsiderate when you don't even KNOW me!" he snarled.

"And what do you tink of me, Kuh'nuhckahles?"

He fumed, twisting his mouth "I think you're a sulky, prejudice cow, that's what I think."

"And you' be dee pot, callin' dee kettle black, Captain."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Callin' me prejudice, when YOU don't know ME."

"Well, what can there be to know about you?!" he shouted, glaring at her as she did as he did and stood up, putting her hands on the table and glaring at him "You sit in here, day after day, SULKING. You're the most BORING person I've ever met!"

She smacked him.

Hard.

"Ev'ry one' got a past, Kuh'nuhkahles!" she roared. He stared at her in utter disbelief, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open as he rubbed his cheek. She sat down and crossed her arms as though nothing had happened while he simply blinked at her. Finally, he slumped back down into his chair.

"… You just smacked me…"

She said nothing.

"… Why'd you smack me?!"

"… I dawn't want to be nawticed…"

"Excuse me…?"

"… I dawn't… Want to exist…" she looked at him. So tired. So… Miserable. He could only stare at her "… Nawt anymore… It hurt', too mahch," she patted her chest, where her heart was "Heeuh…"

His brow furrowed as he puzzled. Then blinked again "What's that got to do with you hitting me?"

"… It why I be saw… "borin'"… And… You shouldn't judge me, because of it…"

K'nuckles finally saw through that dark, apathetic stare of hers, that was emitted from those sunken-in eyes. Eyes which were sunken in, not from too many hours lost to too much candy, but from sleepless nights, spent dwelling on… Something. He frowned.

"Right…" she looked away from him "… You've got a bit o' story tellin' to do, I think, Ms. Rhubarb."

She swallowed.

"… What do ya want to knaw…?"

"Well," K'nuckles took a gulp of his own candy "First off, who is he?"

Rhubarb sat up, indignantly, spluttering "Who says there's this is dee fault of a man?"

"Trust me, I KNOW when a woman's got a man on her mind," he slipped his wooden thumbs beneath the lapels of his coat, with a proud, toothy smile on his face "That man usually being me."

She snorted "Dawn't make me laugh."

"Oh, it's true, m'dear," he grinned at her.

"If it's so true, den why 'aven't I fallen victim to dis spell, o' yours?"

"Oh, it'll come," he replied, a smirk on his face. Judging by her expression, K'nuckles could see that, even without words, she was disagreeing with him.

"I wouldn't bet on it, Captain," the slight smile on her face drooped into a sulk "… Dawn't tink dis heart could ebbuh lubb anyone, again…"

"Hmm…" the captain hummed. Then smiled "Well, buy us another round and spin us a yarn, eh, sweetheart? I've got all night."

And Ms. Custard did as she was told.

Voice dripping with an accent which K'nuckles found difficult to understand, the busty young lady began to tell her tale. A tale that gradually lead the smile to fall from the captains face.

"I was… born intuh a… Very rich family… Dawn't knaw whedduh you knaw of a Lord Custard?" he shook his head "Well, he be mi Farduh. An' livin' in a family like dat, a gurl, such a' mi self, 'as to keep up a good reputation, right? Lib up to ebbyone's expectations, eh?"

"Well, to the best o' MY knowledge…"

"I was quite different, den, you knaw… I wore pretty dresses, rosy cheeks… I wa' alway' smilin'… But den… I met Meestuh Cocoa…"

K'nuckles snorted "Mr. Cocoa? What kind of name is Cocoa?"

"What kind o' a nehm is Kuh'nuhkahles?"

"What kind of a name is Custard?!"

They glared at each other.

"… Anyweh, I met Meestuh Cocoa on dee docks, back hawme. I lived by dee harbuh, one not too diffuhehnt from dis one, and Meestuh Cocoa was an ovah-sea syrup runnuh, right? Mahch, mahch belaw dee Custard family standards… Ehnd… I fell in lubb wid 'im…"

"Ooh, that couldn't have gone down well…" K'nuckles mumbled, taking a swig of his candy, his eyes not leaving her face, her eyes miserable, cast downwards to the table.

"Naw… Naw, it di'n't… 'E proposed to me, ehnd when I tawld mi Farduh, 'e went berserk, saw dat was dee end of dat… Or saw he beliebe… We… Planned to elope, me ehnd Meestuh Cocoa… Ge' marrie' ehnd trabel dee seas. Ehdn then he say, "Tuhmorraw," 'e say "Meet me on da docks, ehnd we run aweh, tuggeduh." So, I wen'tuh dee docks…"

By this point K'nuckles face had fallen entirely, his mouth hanging open in disbelief.

"He didn't, did he?"

"If you' tinkin' dat 'e left me wehthin' dere, den yes. He did."

There was an awkward silence.

"… Ehnd… I nebbuh saw 'im again."

"Ouch…" K'nuckles blinked at her "That's pretty rough."

And it was then that Rhubarb stared him dead in the face, and then crumpled into a slumped heap on the table, shoulders shaking violently with heart-wrenching sobs. He watched in absolute horror, having no idea what to do.

He didn't want her to cry… It just didn't seem right…

"Aw… Aw, no, c'mon, Rhubarb…" he looked uneasily from the sobbing heap that was formerly the bitter young lady who would sit at the bar, to Peppermint Larry, was stood behind the counter, cleaning glasses, glaring at him. K'nuckles grinned sheepishly back, with a shrug of his shoulders. He then leaned across the table, awkwardly patting Rhubarb's elbows "C'mon, sweetheart… I… I don't like seein' you c-… Ooh, people are lookin' Rhubarb! You're gonna get me kicked ou-"

"Excuse me, Ms. Rhubarb, but is he giving you trouble?"

"No, no, no trouble," K'nuckles interjected, desperately, waving his arms with an unconvincing grin "We're just havin' a, uh, heart to heart, right, Rhubarb?"

Rhubarb simply wailed.

"Alright, K'nuckles," the Captain was pulled to his feet by his collar, and soon found himself being steered towards the door "I think you've outstayed your welcome. I'm not having you upsetting my best customer."

"But, but, bu-"

"Weht!" by this point, the captain was clinging to the doorway, his face pushed into it as the bartender tried to tug him free, both of them cursing and struggling and grumbling to one another. They stopped, and looked to Ms. Rhubarb who was now on her feet, gripping onto the upholstery of her seat, her brow knitted together "Leave 'im… 'E' fine. I'm fine."

She forced a grin, wide and clown like. Terrifying, actually. Larry frowned, and let K'nuckles go, who immediately stepped backwards away from him, brushing off his coat with his hands.

"Thank you," he replied, eyes closed, nose cast towards the ceiling. He tucked his hands into the pockets of his coat, and walked nonchalantly back to his seat, looking wronged and indignant. Rhubarb grinned sheepishly at Larry as he narrowed his eyes in a "watch him" sort of way, before sitting down herself.

She sighed.

"… Sorry aboat dat…" she was pink in the cheeks from embarrassment.

"Nah, nah… Don't worry about it…" he smiled at her. She looked at him, blinking briefly. Then wrinkled her nose.

"… Why you bein' saw nehce to me…?"

"Ah, well, I know what it's like to love and then lose," he beamed, making her narrow an eye.

"… You just wahnt candy out o' me."

"Hey, now," he frowned. He pushed his half empty glass away from him, as though to prove a point "I'm genuinely concerned, Ms. Rhubarb. You're my friend, right?"

"… Frehnd…?"

She stared at him like he'd just told her he loved her. He stared back, confused.

"… What?"

"We… We' frehnds…?"

"Yeah, yeah, kid, don't have a cow about it…" he replied, blinking at her for a moment, before picking up his glass, again and taking a gulp of the candy. He set it down, empty, staring at it, before looking at Rhubarb "But uh… While we're on the matter of friends…"

"… I dawn't knaw, Kuh'nuhkahles… I tink you meh hab had enough. Dawn't wahnt ya gett'n' too bon-bonned, do we?"

He snorted "I'm fine. Do I look bon-bonned, to you?"

"Naw, but I've seen you crash, before, Captain, and I dawn't want you getting' yourself hurt. 'Specially as you ain't got no where to gaw…"

The Captain waved his hand in a manner which said that she had no idea what she was talking about "Ah, stop talking woman. There's no harm in another glass. You've been here all night, and you look fine to me. And I bet your more of a light weight than I am."

She stared at him. Then smirked.

"Oh, really, now?" he nodded, arrogantly. Her smirk only broadened into one of those clown-grins of hers "Awirght, den Kuh'Nuhkahles, I tink if we are gonna get completely bon-bonned togged, den we need to make a wager about it, eh?"

"I like the sound of this," he tapped his wooden claws together, grinning keenly from ear to ear "Terms?"

"First one to crash is dee loser. If I crash first, den I pay for both yours, and dat Flapjack kid's candy for a month."

"And if I lose?"

"… Den you set yersehlf strehght."

He blinked at her "What do you mean, set myself straight?"

"All dis trouble wid Flapjack. You love 'im dawncha? Dawn't want tuh lose him, right?"

K'nuckles spluttered "Hey, lady, I don't know who you think you are, makin' assumptio-"

"It's nawt an assumption. It' a fact, Kuh'nuhkahles. Me ehnd ev'yudduh lady, kid ehnd sailor knaw dat you love dat boy like 'e' ya' awn son, or someting."

The Captain turned his eyes down to the table, picking at the varnish on the wooden finish with a sharp wooden finger.

"… It's that obvious, huh…?"

He looked at her as she broke into another huge grin. He wasn't sure if he liked this side of her… The one that kept smiling; it was kind of creepy. It was like her smile didn't fit her face… Hollow and forced, with a happiness that was clearly faked. But her eyes glinted with a distant satisfaction behind that usually bitter stare. She wasn't fake.

Maybe she struggled with her emotions and thoughts, just as he did.

"… Stop smilin' so big…" he said, quietly, cocking his head slightly to the side, with the tiniest smile on his lips.

"Why?"

"Here, here, lemme…" he stood up and reached across the table. He gently pushed at her cheeks, creasing her eyes, and then pushed at the corners of her mouth and chin, sticking out his tongue in concentration. He let her go, with a much more genuine smile on her face "There we are…"

She blinked a couple of times.

"… You look almost pretty, now."

She kicked him under the table, again.

"Wooden."

She smirked.

"Larry! Ready yo' self fo' a couple more rounds!"

K'nuckles grinned.

* * *

"Alright, you two, it's closing time; I think you two better head off home," Larry sighed as he pushed two of his now intoxicated patrons, who stumbled out of the bar, arm in arm, wobbling about and laughing at the slightest things. The bartender had never seen Ms. Rhubarb this way… She actually looked… Happy. He tried not to grin as he shut the doors with a "Look after yourselves, you two."

They did as best they could at looking after themselves, but despite their efforts, the both them almost fell over a good three times before they were so much as a few metres from the Candy Barrel. It was the fourth pathetic stumble they made when they finally fell heavily onto the docking. They sat on the floor and hooted with laughter, holding their stomachs, leant against one another's shoulders. Ms. Custard was laughing harder than she had in a very long time, it seemed, as she spluttered and convulsed with giggles, unknowing of the Captain's watery eyes now on her as his own chortles slowed to shaky, happy sighs. He sat and simply smiled at her. She looked at him, gradually smiling back. She still hadn't learnt.

He pawed at her face, as he had done, before, making her fidget.

"I dawn't need lessons on how to smile."

"Yeah, but you were fine a minute ago, when you were laughin'. Don't smile if you don't want to; S'like tellin' lies."

"You mean like you do?" a genuine smile. K'nuckles narrowed his eyes briefly, then grinned, pushing himself unsteadily to his feet. He hesitated, then held his hand out to her, pulling her up.

He smiled "Uh… How does that song again…?"

"What song, Kuh'nuhkahles?" there was a giggle in her words.

"The… What-sit of the Pinafore thing… The one you taught me, earlier."

"I am dee Captain of da Pinafore, and a right good captain, too?"

"That's the one. I like that one."

"Mm…"

"How'd you manage to see a fancy-pants opera like the "H.M.S Pinafore" anyway?"

"Tawld ya earliuh. My Daddy is Lord Custard, ain't he?"

"Mm…" the captain hummed. There was a small silence, until Rhubarb hiccupped and the two of the erupted into laughter, again, before finally staggering along the docks, once more, singing "So give three cheers and one cheer more, for the well-bred Captain of the Pinafore."

"You, Kuh'nuhkahles," Ms. Custard slurred, finally "Are a TERRIBLE singer."

"As are you, m'dear."

"Perhaps, but I tink dere is a possibility dat I'm slightly more tuneful, dan you."

"Ah, well, that's why I only sing when I'm completely bon-bonned."

"Ha!" Rhubarb exclaimed, excitedly, wheezing with laughter "I tink I win dis li'l wager ob ours, den, Kuh'nuhkahles."

K'nuckles burst into laughter "YOU? YOU win?! Puh-LEASE, Rhubarb, you're as drunk as a sailor."

"I AM a sailor!"

"You? Ha! You're not a sailor. You said yourself, you just dress like this because no other girl does."

"Pfft," she clutched her side, scrunching her face as she sniggered, staggering along beside the washed-up sailor. They swayed blindly up a random, near by alley, taking a break to hoot and guffaw, leaning against the wall to catch their breath "Per'aps, Captain. But I do like fine, dough, dawn't I?"

"Can't say I disagree with ya, there, Ms. Rhubarb…" there was a small silence where the Captain just looked at her for a reason he didn't know. Her features were just visible in the flickering light of a gas-lit street lamp at the closest end of the alley entrance. And she was… Oddly… Beautiful. She looked at him.

"What…?"

He frowned slightly, then took her by her chin, pulling her forward towards him, tenderly brushing his lips against hers. She blinked at him as he pulled away, blood rushing, unbeknownst to him, to her cheeks. She then swallowed.

"… Dat… Dat wasn't too bad was i-" she interrupted herself, grabbing him by the lapels of his coat and tugging him toward her, lips meeting, crushing, smashing hungrily against one another's. Hands roamed and vocals grunted, eyes clamped shut, every movement made on a whim as they slid down to the floor, knees bent as Rhubarb sat and K'nuckles leaned over her, holding his balance on one arm, and holding the back of her neck with his spare hand.

He didn't know what it was; Perhaps it was the shock of being separated from his cabin boy, the girl's unexpected generosity, the fact that he was quite crashed on sugar, or maybe even the truth that was Rhubarb's dark, exotic allure, made all the more appealing in the yellow light of the streets, that made him all the more hungry for a taste of rhubarb and custard. But, whatever it was, K'nuckles simply couldn't help himself. He didn't want this girl. He needed her. He could feel her hands tugging at his jacket, him only yanking hers from her, in turn, tossing it over his shoulder, and pulling at her waist. He only paused his hungry kisses to let her pull his own jacket from his shoulders.

It was as she pawed at his shirt that he saw just how… Small her hands were.

Small, dainty, young.

He took in a sharp, sudden breath, taking her wrists and holding them still, staring down at her hands, fingers, fingernails. Her ring finger, on which still remained her engagement ring…

He sighed heavily, not believing he was going to do this…

"Ms. Rhubarb…"

"Is dere someting wrong?"

"No, no, it's not that. Not that at all…" he looked up from her hands to her eyes. Brown, like chocolate… God, she was so sweet. Why the hell hadn't he noticed her before…? He sighed again, holding up her ring finger to show her "Look… See that?"

"… I wish I didn't…"

"I know, but you do. It's still there, and will stay there until you move on, right?"

She looked at the ring. Then him. Then the ring. It was cheap; it was all her dear Mr. Cocoa could afford, but to her, it was the most beautiful thing in the world. And also the most heart breaking.

She sniffed.

"Ah, ah, there, see? That's it," he released her hands, gently cupping her cheeks "Ms. Rhubarb… I only realised, tonight, just how… Beautiful you are… Damn, what I wouldn't give for a girl like you on me arm… But…"

"But…?"

"This ring, here, it represents how you feel; And this guy, he's a complete schmuck for leavin' you waitin' at the docks, but, non-the-less, you love him, doncha?"

She looked like she was going to burst into tears as she sadly nodded.

"… And… Flapjack… He's the most… Annoyin' thing on this planet. He really is, but then… Even though he drives me up the wall, I… I love 'im. He's my best friend, my partner in crime… He's… My boy… And… Even if I never see him again, after today, it'll kill me. God of course it will… But you've just gotta make things better for yourself, doncha?"

"… What's dis got to do with you turning me down for sex…?"

K'nuckles laughed "You're so blunt. Most women I know would faint at the mere mention o' that word."

"What? Sex? Would you raddah me say intercourse? Or some udduh toffee-nosed descriptin'?"

"No, no, it's fine… Oh, I forgot what I was gonna say n- Oh! I remember," he took her hands "Right. As it stands, no one has said, for sure, that I'm not allowed to see Flapjack again, right?"

"Right…"

"And like you said, earlier, if I can, then I have to change my ways for him, don't I? Not just for my sake, but for his… But… If I'm not allowed to see him… I need to get on with my life and make things better, as best I can, right?"

"Right…"

"And you know this thing with Mr. Cocoa?"

"… Yeah…?"

"Is sleepin' with me gonna make your life better?"

She said nothing for a moment, before finally replying with a quiet "Dawn't knaw…"

"Well… As far as "morals" and junk are concerned, you should really only have sex with someone, if you love them, right?"

"Right…"

"And do you love me…?"

Rhubarb spluttered, her face flaming red "No! You… I… I just… I just… Wanted SOMEONE to be clawse to…"

"Exactly…" K'nuckles heaved yet another deep sigh "You don't love me. Probably never will. I dunno what it is you want with me, Ms. Rhubarb, but what ever it is, it ain't a good idea. Look… Just… Go home, get some sleep… Some proper sleep. You're eyes are so sunken-in, you look like a skeleton."

"But… B-but…"

"Rhubarb," he frowned at her, taking her shoulders and giving her a slight shake "Listen to me. You're lovely… You really are, and any guy would be lucky to have you… But… You… You're just so young… I don't want you throwing your life away… I've let it happen to myself, and now look at me. I'm sat in an alley, after getting kicked out of my home for driving my boy wrong. Again. If you knew me back to front, if you truly loved me, and I felt the same, damn, I'd have you up against this wall-"

"Kuh'nuhkahles! God sehke, mon," she was bright red as she slapped him harder across the face than he would admit. He could tell. He held his cheek, scowling at her, before continuing.

"But that's NOT the case. You've got your whole life ahead of ya… Use it to find someone who deserves you, eh?" he tickled her under her chin, making her squirm "Understand?"

"Yeah.. Yeah, I understand… So uh…"

They pushed themselves to their feet, standing awkwardly in the dimly lit alley, before they bent and picked up their discarded jackets slowly slipping them on, eyes not leaving the others. Silence.

"Uh…" Rhubarb rubbed the back of her head. Then held out her hand "… Good night, eh?"

"Yeah, I'd like to think so… We should, uh… Do it again, sometime…"

"Mm…" there was a second pause, before Ms. Custard suddenly broke into that clown-like grin "I won."

"No you did not! I did!"

"Naw, I did. You cahn't eben walk streht!"

"I can barely bend my knees! O' COURSE I can't walk straight!"

"Pfft, excusehs, excusehs."

"Well, what about you? Your speech is more slurred than ever,"

"Is'nawt! Stawp tryin' tuh convince me I've lawst!" she slurred. He smirked "… Fine… It's a draw."

"Hey, hey, don't cheat me out of my month's free candy, now!"

"I'm nawt! If I've won, and you've won, den you still get you month's candy, but you' also gotta put yourself right!"

"I was gonna do that, anyway!"

"Den stop complaining, you stupid man!" she cried, grinning. He stared at her. Then burst into laughter, taking her hand and giving it a vigorous shake.

"I like you, kid."

"Likewise. Except for dee "kid" bit. You're too awld to be uh kid."

"Hey, watch it."

They stood in silence and smiled at one another, hands in pockets, unevenly shifting their weight from one foot to another. The wind blew, and the Captain shivered.

"You cawld…?"

"A little… I think it's just the thought o' sleeping in this, though. Again."

Rhubarb pushed at her bottom lip with her tongue as she thought, humming in her throat, before shrugging a shoulder "You can always… Stay at mine, tonight…"

He looked at her.

"Well… Where do you live?"

She pointed to the higher regions of the small town "Upper Stormalong."

"'Splains why no one ever sees ya, outside the Candy Barrel, I guess…" K'nuckles pondered her offer for a moment, taking into consideration the thing which he had, regrettably, prevented. It was tough, it really was; especially as the both of them were quite heavily intoxicated, and the young miss had suddenly gone from the sulky, bitter lump at the bar, to a witty, beautiful woman, skin painted in memory of the sweetest looking chocolate. Chocolate the Captain was dying to taste. He stared at her, then vigorously shook his head "Nah… I… 'preciate it, but I've crashed too hard, and you've become more… Tempting since I saw you in the bar, today."

"Are you attracted to me, den, Kuh'nuhkahles? Have I, as people say… Pulled?"

"Don't get cocky."

"I wawn't," she smiled slightly, looking down to the floor, wringing her hands "Tank you… I… I tink I needed a night, like tonight… I… Haven't been dis cheerful in a while…"

"… Will you be back at the Candy Barrel, tomorrow…?"

"Will you be wehtin' dere, for me?"

He stuffed his hands into his pockets, looking almost bashfully down to the floor "… I might stop by, I guess…"

She grinned, pulling off his hat and kissing his forehead.

"G'night, Captain. Good luck, wid Flapjack."

The young lady then set the hat back on his head, pushing it down over his eyes, and lurching backwards as he grabbed towards her, laughing, before he pushed it out of his eyes, only to see her as nothing but a dark silhouette, slinking off along the docks, leaving him to stare after her.

K'nuckles sighed, then made his way in the other direction, in search of a good place for a washed-up old sailor to sleep, for the night.

Perhaps somewhere that wasn't so cold.

* * *

"C'mon, K'nuckles, get up…"

The Captain's chosen sleeping quarters (an empty, discarded barrel, on the dock), shook as a large flipper pushed at it. He stirred inside, emitting a tired moan, yet did not wake. Bubbie frowned, and pushed it again, so the barrel tipped, yet did not capsize.

"Go away, I'm sleepin'!" K'nuckles slurred, sticking one wooden hand up out of the barrel and shaking it. The whale frowned, then tipped it up, so it fell and clunked against the wooden floor, beginning to roll towards the harbour, the Captain "oof"ing and "ow"ing from inside, before his make-shift ship stopped it in its tracks. He poked his head out, and the two shared a glare.

"… What time is it?" K'nuckles asked, breaking his gaze and blinking at the pinking sky, eyes squinting.

"I'm a whale, K'nuckles. I don't wear a watch. But, judgin' by the time o' year, and the positionin' of the sun in the sky, I'd say it's about six o'clock-ish."

He grumbled, wriggling around for a moment, before attempting to pull himself out of the barrel, only to find himself stuck.

"… Aw, crabs…"

"Need some help…?"

"Don't touch me, woman, I don't need your he-" he paused, looking up at the whale as she glared back down at him, only expecting him to finish his no doubt spiteful reply… If life gets difficult, then one has to do something a bit differently, to make it better. He was stuck in a barrel. And he needed help. He sighed "Yeah… P-p… Please…"

Bubbie blinked "… You hung over, or somethin', old man?"

"No…! Well… Yes, but, that's not why I'm asking for help…"

The whale blinked again, then pointed both flippers to the sky, as though trying to shrug, before carefully taking his creaky, wooden wrists and easing him from the barrel. He broke free with a pop, and was then set carefully down on the dock. He sat down, dangling his feet over the sea, his hands in his lap. He didn't look at her as he said, meekly "… Thanks…"

"… No problem, I guess…"

There was an awkward silence.

"… What are you doin' here, anyway…?" the captain asked.

She leant on the dock and smiled, slightly "Ah, well, I've been gainin' a little weight, lately, so I thought I'd start gettin' up a bit earlier, and goin' for mornin' swims. You know, to keep up my girlish figure."

"You do know you're a whale, right?"

"A whale without a man, K'nuckles."

He chuckled "Well… We're in the same boat, then, I guess…"

There was a second silence where the Captain creaked, turning his head, slightly, to look in the direction of the Candy Barrel, and then looking at his knees, playing with his fingers, thinking. Bubbie looked at him for a moment.

"… S'wrong wichu?"

"Nothin'… Just… Thinkin'…"

"… YOU? THINKING?" the whale burst out laughing, making him scowl. He said nothing "What could YOU have to think about?"

"… A lot, since last night…"

"… You really ARE hung over," she giggled, happily, in her throat "Come on. Tell Bubbie what troubles ya."

"Nothin'… I just… I got talkin' to someone, last night… And… One way or another she managed to… Get me to see that… I've really screwed Flapjack around, the time I've known him, huh?"

Bubbie crossed her arms "Mhmm. Well, at least you see that, now."

"I do, I do… Look… What I mean is… I'm…" he paused, gritting his teeth, looking struggled "I-I'm… Sorry…"

Bubbie blinked again "YOU'RE sorry…?"

"Yeah…"

"… What did this girl do to ya?"

"Nothin'! Just… You know how you always go on about how Flapjack's your "baby" and stuff…? Well…" the captain shrugged, looking somewhat embarrassed as he looked at the floor "… He's kinda like… My OWN… Son, y'know…? And… What I did, yesterday… I was wrong, and I need to stop treatin' him the way I do…"

The whale stared at the Captain in complete disbelief. Then swept him up in a huge hug, rocking him madly back and forth "Oh, K'nuckles, that's so SWEET! I KNEW you did, I knew it!"

"Bubbie…! Trouble… Breathing…" he gasped. She paused, and set him back down, grinning from "ear" to "ear". He let out a slight laugh "I can't do right or wrong, without you strangling me, huh?"

Bubbie beamed, shaking her head "Ah, well, life wouldn't be as much fun, another way, would it?"

"I guess not," he said with a smirk, before he looked down at waters, below. Then twisted his neck to the Candy Barrel, again. The smirk faded. He frowned.

"… What, now…?"

"Nothin'."

"There's something, old man…"

He looked up at her, scowling "I'm not that old. What do you mean by "old man" anyway?"

The whale raised her hands defensively "Hey, don't get testy. It's just two simple words."

"Yeah, well, two simple words I don't like," he glared at his knees.

He wasn't old…

Nor was he young.

He couldn't help but wish he was… Maybe about Rhubarb's age…

He blinked.

… Why would he want to be RHUBARB'S age? Why HERS specifically…?

"… Bubbie…?"

"Mm?"

"Uh… You know if I were to bring a girlfriend home, one day… How old would you expect her to be…?"

Bubbie blinked at him. Then smirked.

"Has K'nuckles found himself a girlfriend?"

"No, no, I mean hypothetically?"

"Oh, there ain't no "hypothetically" about it, Hinges; You' got a case of the love bug," she looked ever so pleased with herself, making K'nuckles only harden his glare. The blood in his cheeks didn't go unnoticed "… And she's fairly young, ain't she?"

"I don't have a girlfriend!" he snapped, blushing an even deeper shade of red "She's just this girl I got talkin' to last night… And well…"

"Is she pretty?"

"Yeah…" he smiled ever so slightly. Then frowned again "Pretty young."

"How young…?"

He shrugged "Dunno. Didn't get into that much detail."

"Who is she?"

"Don't suppose you've ever heard of a Ms. Rhubarb?"

Bubbie stared. Then blinked "The same Ms. Rhubarb who sits at the bar, sulking, all the time?"

"Yeah… Her…"

"… How'd you manage to get talking to HER. Flapjack says she doesn't talk to anyone but Peppermint Larry."

He snorted "Hell, if I know. She just randomly started buying me candy. Then she was talkin' to me 'bout Flapjack and how I'm "irresponsible-"

"You ARE irresponsible."

"Then she smacked me. Then she told me this big long story about how her fiancee left her waiting at the docks, when they planned to elope," ("Oh, how awful…") Then she started crying, and by this point, I have no idea what's going on."

"You made her cry? You like her because you made her CRY?"

"No, no…" K'nuckles thought for a moment. DID he even like her…? Past a friend, anyway? He frowned. Yes… He believed it quite likely that he did "She's just… Different. She's so young, but then she's got all this experience goin' on. She's so clever, Bubbie… But… It's a sad kind of clever, you know?"

"What do you mean…?"

"… She kinda… Sucks the life out everything… She looks everythin' over, negatively, and she'll tell you all these miserable philosophies that she's conjured up, and they just… They make sense, y'know…? Expectations lead to disappointment, and stuff like that," he twiddled his thumbs, brow furrowed in thought "… And… I want to help her… Y'know… To be happy 'cos… She's made me see how much I've messed up with Flapjack and… A girl like her… She deserves to be happy, y'know…?"

The whale giggled in her throat "You' so mushy, K'nuckles."

"Yeah, well," he shrugged, flushing "I like women. They're nice."

"When they aren't sneakin' off because you' so ugly?"

"Not cool, Bubbie."

"Yeah, well, you' not cool for sayin' "not cool", old man."

There was a pause. And then the captain laughed "You know, whale, you ain't so bad, when you're not threatening to kill me."

"I know," she beamed.

He smirked.

Bubbie then raised her eyebrows, looking up to the sky "Hmm. I can feel little feet walkin', K'nuckles."

"K'nuckles? K'nuckles is out there?" Flapjack's head almost instantaneously burst out, from the whale's blow hole, eyes locking fast with the washed-up old sailor's. He looked like he was about to burst into tears as he cried "Captain!"

"Hey, there, Flapp-oof!" K'nuckles' sentence was cut short as his Cabin-Boy clambered down, from his guardian's back, and slammed into him, hugging him tightly around his waist.

"My Captain!" he wailed, tightening his grip on him, burying his face in his chest "I didn't think I'd see you again!"

"Yeah, somehow, I didn't think you would, either," the Captain murmured, looking to Bubbie. She stared back, looking expectant, making him heave a deep sigh "Flap…?"

Flapjack looked up at him with those big, blue eyes, bright and teary, and he sighed, wrapping his arms around the small boy and resting his chin on his head "… I love ya, boy…"

He blinked "… Pardon?"

"I said…" he sighed, rubbing that back of his neck uncomfortably "… I said I love ya, Flapjack. Like… Like Bubbie loves ya…"

The boy spluttered, breaking into a huge grin "You mean like a Momma?"

"Ye- NO! Do I look like a Mom to you?!"

"No…" the Cabin-Boy looked up at his Captain, as though analysing him. He then smiled, hugging him tighter still "… You look like a Dad…"

K'nuckles stared down at him, his mouth hanging open, slightly, and then broke into as huge a grin as the little boy wore, pulling him into an even tighter hug, sniffing, slightly. Flapjack wriggled, laughing away, as he then hoisted him up onto his shoulders, beaming from ear to ear.

Bubbie was hiding her face. He narrowed his eyes, smile turning to a smirk.

"What's that? Is Momma cryin'?" he asked. The whale sniffed, peering at him over her flippers.

"Ooh…" she reached forward and grabbed them both, rocking them madly back and forth in her arms "Bubbie never thought she'd see the day when we're a proper family."

K'nuckles fidgeted "Well… We've always been a PROPER family… I just… I've just been too stupid to admit it."

"And you're admitting it, now?" Flapjack asked.

"Yes, Flap," he replied, looking awkwardly down at the floor "Don't milk it, alright? I'm not used to this whole "Happy Families" thing."

"Family!" the boy sang, still smiling as the sailor fidgeted uncomfortably in Bubbie's arms. He hugged him "Y'know, K'nuckles… I've never had a Dad, before."

"… I have."

____________

"Be careful, baby!"

"I will, Bubbie!"

"K'nuckles! Take care o' him!"

"Alright, woman. Just 'cos he's our kid doesn't make you my wife."

The sailor hobbled off along the dock, with as sour a face as ever, his Cabin-Boy in tow. He caught up, quickly, humming as he walked along beside him, a bounce in his step. K'nuckles smiled, tilting his head slightly, as he looked at him.

"Heh… it's good to have ya back, boy."

"It's good to be back, Captain," he replied grinning.

"… You haven't BEEN anywhere."

"That's what you think," the grin on his face simply broadened. K'nuckles frowned slightly.

"… Where you been…?"

"Oh, just, around," Flapjack shrugged his shoulders, as though his supposed whereabouts were of no importance "Just… While you were gone, Bubbie and I found a map to Candied Island."

K'nuckles stopped dead in his tracks.

"You FOUND a map to Candied Island…?"

"Mmmyeah, and we went there, Cap'n, and is was fantastic! But then, on the way back, we were stopped by Eight-Armed Willy, right? And he wanted the map to Candied Island, too, so he and Bubbie had a dance off, and Bubbie would have one, but she doesn't have any legs so-"

"Alright, boy, that's enough," the Captain laughed, grabbing the boy in a head-lock and rubbing his knuckles roughly across his scalp. He wriggled and squirmed in his grasp giggling madly, trying his best to swat his hand from his head "You're full of salt-water, aren't ya, boy?"

"Well, yeah!" he cried, happily, pushing K'nuckles from him, so he stumbled backwards "I've learnt from the best!"

He grinned, grabbing the boy and lifting him up onto his shoulders "Come on, boy. We've got somewhere to be."

"Where we goin', Cap'n?"

"We're gonna pay a visit to the Candy Barrel; You know, last night, I managed to get us free candy and syrup for a month!"

"Wow, really?"

"Sure did, Flappy Boy. If I want something ordered, say… Five rounds of Triple Taffy Sunrises, with EXTRA syrup…" he was very much aware of the small boy now dribbling hungrily down his back "… My new friend would order it for us, and I won't even have to pay them back."

"Never ever?"

"Never ever, ever."

"Wow…" Flapjack hummed in though for a moment, scratching his chin. He hugged the back of the man's head "Who's you're new friend, Cap'n?"

"You wouldn't believe me, if I told ya."

"Try me!"

"Mmm… Nope," he started at a run, holding his Cabin-Boy tightly by his legs "Now c'mon, boy, I'm starvin'."

The swing doors of the Candy Barrel swung open, then close, a good three times as the Captain charged through them, Flapjack still on his back, both of them grinning like idiots as they leapt onto a couple of seats at the bar.

K'nuckles gave a contented sigh "OK, Larry, lets start off with a couple o' glasses o' candy, eh?"

The Bartender looked at them, and blinked, but shrugged his shoulders and did as he was told, filling two glasses full of candy and setting them on the counter "That'll be six gold coins, then, K'nuckles."

He idly pointed to the other end of the bar "Ask Rhubarb, she'll pay ya."

Flapjack blinked "… Rhubarb…? You mean Ms. Custard…? SHE'S your new friend…?"

The Captain looked very pleased with himself, for a moment, until Larry laughed out loud "Friend or not, K'nuckles. She's not here, to pay for you."

"What?!" he looked to the dark young woman's usual seat, blinking in disbelief as he found it empty "… She's not here? B-but she's ALWAYS here!"

"Well, not today, I guess," the bartender said with a shrug and a chuckle in his throat "Which means…"

It wasn't long after Peppermint Larry withdrew the full glasses of Candy from the counter, did the Captain and his Cabin-Boy traipse miserably from the bar, hungry, and disappointed.

"… Did you REALLY make friends with Ms. Custard?"

"Make friends with her? Flap, I made out with her!"

The little boy flushed, laughing "Ew, Captain! You kissed a girl?"

"In my defense, kiddo, we were both bon-bonned beyond belief. But, at least it didn't go much further than that, huh?"

Flapjack blinked at him "… Well… How much further could you possibly GO…?"

"… Uh… You know where babies come from, Flap?"

"Tch, silly… EVERYONE knows that!" he replied, clapping his hands, and smiling "They come from seaweed, of course!"

"Uh…Look, boy, I think we need to have a uh… Talk, yeah?"

"… What about…?"

The Captain fidgeted, getting down on one knee, setting a hand on the boys shoulder "Well… Baby makin'… Babies DON'T come from seaweed, boy… They come from, uh… When a man puts his-"

"Hey, Cap'n! Who's that?!" Flapjack pointed off along the dock, to the shapely figure of woman, slinking along the pier, dressed in a posh-looking frock, with a parasol perched on her shoulder. K'nuckles stared, wide-eyed and slack jawed, making no answer "… Cap'n…?"

"B-buh… B-buh… Beau… Tiful…" there was a pause, where neither did nothing, before he started at a mad run after the woman, a very confused Flapjack calling after him, in tow. The Captain caught up with her, after a few moments, sliding in, in front of her and removing his hat, taking a bow "Excuse, young Miss, but I could help but notice that you're walking along un… a… ccompani- Rhubarb?!"

Ms. Rhubarb looked at him with hooded lids, and a half smile as she shut her parasol and pointed it into the dock, leaning on it. She nodded her head "Captain Kuh'nuhckahles."

"I… You… Wh-when… Wow…"

"Yes…?"

"Just… Wow…" he looked her up and down, then broke into a grin "Take a look at you, eh? Hey, give us a twirl; lemme have a proper look at this phenomenon."

She hit him over the head with her parasol, then did as she was told, giggling "Like what you see, I tehke it?"

"Well, I am but a man, Ms. Rhubarb." he chuckled, tilting his head slightly, looking at her. She sure was beautiful "… You clean up pretty good."

"Yeah… We just need tuh get you into a suit, eh?" she hit his arm, hard, grinning.

"Yeah…" he rubbed his arm, sheepishly, only making her smile broaden "But… How come you're out here, in a DRESS? I mean… I thought you'd be at the Candy Barrel. I was hoping for my first instalment of free candy."

"Were you expecting me to be dere…?"

"Yes…?"

"Den dat's why," she grinned.

"Hey Cap'n!" Flapjack finally caught up with the sailor and clung to his arm "Who's this…?"

"Flapjack, THIS is Ms. Custard."

"Hubba-wha'? But I thought she was always real sulky and never left the Candy Barrel! You said she was a vampire, and couldn't go out in day-light I could have sworn."

"Nice to knaw you tink so highly of me, Kuh'Nuhckahles," Rhubarb said, smirking at the Captain as he spluttered away, trying for a decent defense.

"I'll kill you, boy," Flapjack gave a small cry, clinging tighter onto his arm, pleading with those big, blue eyes.

"Dawn't worry, Kuh'Nuhckahles. I'm not fehzed by dee words of dee ignorant," she paused, smiling at him, lids still hooded. K'nuckles stared back, only praying the blood that was scorching in his cheeks wasn't making itself known to her "… Such a beautiful day…"

"Yeah…" he blinked, shaking his head "Yeah, yeah, it's not too bad…"

"… Would you two care tuh join me for a walk…?"

"Uh… Sure uh… What do you say Fla-"

"Adventuuuuuure!" the boy had already sped off down the dock, leaving the sailor and the sulk in his dust. They looked at each other, smiling slightly.

"Saw, you fixed tings for yourself, den?" Rhubarb asked, as K'nuckles offered her his arm. She linked her own through it, giving it a gentle squeeze which didn't go unnoticed.

"I guess so… Told him what he means to me, and Bubbie let me back in, early this morning."

"Well, I'm glad… You might be happy to knaw dat I'm tryin' tuh fix tings for myself, too," she said, quietly, taking her dress in one hand and rustling it. She then let it fall "Mi best dress."

"Well, it looks good on ya, Rhubarb," he replied, grinning. His smile faltered, however, when he looked to her ring finger, which as still occupied by that cheap engagement ring, it seemed. She was trying, at the very least… The happy turn at the corners of his mouth soon returned as she leant forward, brushing her lips softly against his cheek. He flushed.

"You can be sweeter dan candy, sometimes, Kuh'Nuhkahles."

"Yeah, well… I try."


	2. One

____________________________

The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack belongs to Thurop Van Orman.

___________________________

* * *

_

Moirae

_"Fate is not an eagle. It creeps like a rat." - Elizabeth Bowen_

One.

"What does "Moirae" mean…?"

"Oh, oh! I know this one, I know this one!" little boy Flapjack called out, sticking up his hand and waving it madly in the air. Stormalong's school teacher, Ms. Leading, looked to him with a smile on her face. She nodded her head "Moirae is the three personifications of fate, in Greek Mythology!"

"Very good, Flapjack!"

Like a canine a doggy-treat, the shapely teacher pulled a boiled sweet, wrapped in decorative plastic, from up her sleeve and flicked it in the direction of the blonde, malnourished, young boy, who laughed and applauded happily at his own success as he crunched on it. Sat on the mat beside him was his Captain, looking sulkily down at his knees, holding them bunched up to his chest. Captain K'nuckles looked at him, eyes narrowed.

"How did you even KNOW that?"

Flapjack shrugged, smacking his lips. He swallowed "Just did, I guess."

The washed-up old sailor huffed, having, once again, failed to answer any questions correctly, during their day of schooling, so while the other students (all of which were much, much younger than him) munched happily away on their sugary sweets, he crouched miserably in his usual seat on the floor, a small dunce's cap on the turn-up of his nose, his stomach empty of sweets. He hated school. Hate, hate, hated it.

"Well done, today, class. You are all dismissed," Ms. Leading announced, smiling sweetly to the class full of children, who sprang happily to their feet and ran laughing from the one-roomed school, out into the town, calling their goodbyes to their teacher and one another, before making their separate ways home. K'nuckles got unsteadily to his feet, the hinges in his legs creaking and his back cracking as he stood up straight.

"I'm too old for this," he grunted, lifting his hat, slightly, and rubbing his head "This whole thing is humiliatin', Flap."

"What thing?" his cabin-boy asked curiously.

"This whole "school" thing," he replied, crossing his arms and looking sour "Out-smarted by snot-nosed kids, havin' to sit on the floor, bein' treated like a little kid; I don't know why I keep coming here."

"Don't you remember what Bubbie said, Cap'n?" Flapjack said, clutching onto his arm. He then raised his arms and roared "You better keep takin' mah baby to learnin' classes, K'nuckles, or I'll teach you a thing or two!"

The Captain looked at him, bitterness in his gaze "… Dumb whale."

"Captain K'nuckles?" Ms. Leading was perched on her desk, her hands in her lap. He looked at her, a scowl still very much present on his features as she smiled sweetly towards him "You don't have to feel embarrassed about being a know-nothing."

"You can't say that to me!" he cried, looking very much disheartened "You're my teacher! You're supposed to encourage me!"

"Tsk, tsk. And you can not speak to me, like that, K'nuckles. I am your teacher," she replied, waggling her finger and shaking her head, unhappily. K'nuckles looked utterly miserable as he looked down at his boots. She smiled slightly "But don't fret, K'nuckles. I taught you the difference between your left and your right; I can certainly teach you something else. You just have to be patient."

The Captain huffed "But everybody else gets everything, easy-peasy! Like Flapjack new what that "Moirae" thing meant! I've never even HEARD that!"

"Well, K'nuckles, children retain information much more easily than we adults. Their brains are much more absorbent."

"Like sea sponges?" Flapjack asked, happily.

"Yes, Flapjack. Good job," she tossed him a second candy. K'nuckles sulked. She shook her head, with a slight roll of her eyes, before reaching forward and gently patting his shoulder "Don't you worry, K'nuckles. It may not seem like it, now, but in time, things will change. You just have to be patient. Besides, a sea-worthy sailor like you; your brain is probably riddled with life-lessons. And if you can remember those, then where is the hardship in learning a bit of general trivia?"

She didn't actually believe this; K'nuckles was as thick as a post and as dim as a burnt out gas-lamp. But then, even the most stupid of students needed encouragement and judging by the proud grin that had now appeared on his face, her words of consolation and support had, at the very least, stopped him from moaning, for a little while. She tittered, with a slight roll of her eyes, before plucking the small dunce's cap from the end of his nose and setting it down on her desk.

"Well, good afternoon, you two. I'll see you next time," she beamed, sweetly, automatically gaining a smile from the two in return, before taking her coat and exiting her class room. K'nuckles tilted his head, watching her go.

"… Just can't say no to that woman," he said, smiling slightly as he held his arms above his head and stretched "Half the time, I have no idea what she's talkin' about, but that figure o' hers, Flap," he wolf-whistled "Can't help but at least TRY to listen."

Flapjack shook his head, taking his Captain's arm and giving it a slight tug, before making his way out of the school house "She just makes me smile. You know, when she smiles and gives me candy? And then I smile, and eat the candy? Yeah… That's great…"

"Don't rub it in," K'nuckles said in a grumble, clunking along behind him "I bet she's just playing hard to get. Who cares if she's married? She wants me."

"'Cos you're the Candy Casanova, right Cap'n?" Flapjack cried, happily, no doubt proud of whatever reputation his Captain had gained. Even if he didn't know what it meant.

"Darn straight, boy," the sailor replied, ruffling his hair, the little boy laughing, readjusting his white, cotton cap. K'nuckles smiled "Welp, home to Bubbie. We need to get ready."

"Ready for what?"

"To go out, Flap! You're not going soft-headed on me, now are ya? It's Tuesday night! And you know what we always do on Tuesday night!"

The little boy broke into a huge grin, laughing away manically, jumping up and clinging excitedly to the Captain "We go to the Candy Barrel, and eat lotsa candy!"

"Bingo," K'nuckles beamed with a toothy smile, until Flapjack let out a happy sigh and buried his head in the crook of his neck. His smile faded and he fidgeted, pushing the boy off him "OK, Flapjack, that's enough of that. You'll give me a rash, or something'."

"I'm sorry," he looked miserably down at his feet. The man tilted his head to the side, smiling ever so slightly, before gently smacking the boy up the back of his head. Then he smirked.

"Race ya back to Bubbie!" he started at a mad run, Flapjack, laughing again, closely in tow.

It was late summer; three o'clock to those who even bothered to keep the time, and the sun was bright in the sky. It shone warmly down on the town of Stormalong; A town situated in the middle of the open sea, held up high on rickety wooden docks, which, though old and worn in appearance, still managed to keep the streets and its inhabitants from sinking deep down to the bottom of the ocean. Merchants for every other product, from fresh fish to second-hand umbrellas, riddled with holes and other imperfections, calling out to potential patrons. Anyone would do and sell anything for a bit of legal tender, even if such attempts resulted in failure. It was a poor town, there was no doubt about it, and its poorest residents were plodding along the streets, to the end of the dock, then down the stairs, towards the harbour, where Bubbie, a whale, floated, eyes sealed with sleep, from an afternoon nap.

"Hey, Bubbie! I need some money!" K'nuckles announced, reaching forward and tapping her cheek, until she finally awoke. Her eyes popped open, looking madly about, in surprise, before coming into focus on the Captain's haggard face. She narrowed her eyes.

"Hello, K'nuckles," she said, looking away from him, a scowl on her features. This scowl then softened when she looked to "her baby", Flapjack "Hey, Flappy Pie. How was school?"

"It was great, Bubbie! I answered so many questions and ate so much can-"

"Stupid teacher. Kept sayin' my answers were wrong on purpose. I think it's some sort of fetish of hers, or somethin'; denyin' me candy and then givin' it to others like she's passing out the plague."

"Cap'n, what's a feh… Tish?"

"A fetish is-"

"Nuh uh, old man," Bubbie interrupted, smacking a flipper over his mouth "Don't you go tellin' my baby things he's not old enough to hear."

"Now I REALLY wanna know!" the little boy cried, laughing. K'nuckles tried to explain again, but was merely smacked up the back of his head by the whale, with so much force that he fell heavily onto the dock with a thud. He lay in a heap, nose pushed into the ground, cursing under his breath.

"Dumb whale."

"What you say, Hinges?!"

"Nothin', nothin'," he replied, sitting up. His back gave a painful sounding crack.

"Ooh, pretty sounds," the whale's voice dripped with sarcasm "K'nuckles, that back o' yours gets louder, everyday."

"No it does not!" he cried, in defence.

"Yes it does!"

"OK, FINE! I've got a bit of a bad back. But do you know how you GET a bad back?! By sleepin' on stupid whale tongues!" the Captain yelled, throwing his arms angrily above his head.

"Cap'n, you can't say that!"

He glared at the whale, and then the boy, the back to the whale, before heaving a deep sigh.

"… What I wouldn't give for a night in a real bed," K'nuckles then got miserably to his feet, stretching, cracking his back a second time. He smiled slightly "Hey, that one actually felt pretty good."

"Hey, K'nuckles…?"

"Yes, Flap?"

"Why'd we come back to Bubbie to get ready? We don't actually have anything to get ready WITH. You know, no clean clothes, or nothing."

"Aw, baby, I cleaned your clothes, yesterday!" Bubbie said, vexed, looking unhappy with her son and his Captain. The two of them looked at one another, and then grinned sheepishly. She sighed "Want me to go to laundry island?"

"Yes-"

"-Please."

She bought her "hand" to her face, before turning away from the dock and swimming off into the distance, Flapjack calling after her "I love you, Bubbie!"

"Love you, too, sugar…"

K'nuckles watched her go, and then turned to Flapjack, with a smile.

"C'mon. Candy awaits."

The two of them jogged back up the stairs onto the higher regions of the dock, and then slowed to a steady walk as they began their trip across the small town to the Candy Barrel. Flapjack waved to passers by, while K'nuckles looked at him with hard, disapproving eyes, yet said nothing. There was no changing how friendly the boy was. The Captain would argue that being friendly got you killed, at sea, in the long run, but in truth, he couldn't help but feel somewhat envious that Flapjack, who had lived for no more than eight years, could so easily earn the respect of everyone in Stormalong, while next to nobody could not stand him and his heinous, lying ways. He grunted, a sharp pain in his back.

"Hey, Cap'n?"

"Yes, boy?"

"Did you really mean what you said about wishing you could sleep in a real bed?"

K'nuckles looked at him. It sounded to him as though Flapjack believed his words to be the most loathsome of crimes "Well, yeah, Flap, don't you?"

"No," he said, shaking his head "I like sleeping on Bubbie's tongue. It's comfy," the Captain rolled his eyes, and huffed "… If you want a bed, so much, why don't you just buy one?"

"Oh, for the last time, Flapjack," he turned to face him, stopping in the street and taking him by his shoulders "We don't. Have. Any. Money. If we did, I'd buy all sorts of stuff; beds, tables, chairs. Anything I wanted, I'd buy it."

It was as he said this that they conveniently walked past a tall sign, next to a winding road that travelled up and up and up to the highest regions of the town. "To Upper Stormalong" the sign read. Now, K'nuckles couldn't read, but he'd walked past this sign enough times to know what it was for.

"What I wouldn't give to live like the people up there," he said, pointing up to the tall, pretty buildings, which all seemed to sparkle magically, out of place in the middle of the gloom of the streets "Like Lady Nickelbottom and girly Charles. Hell, even that mangy mutt of theirs seems to have a better life than we do, boy. At least it's got a bed."

Flapjack frowned "Aw, Cap'n… We don't need money to be happy."

The boy was wise, for his age. K'nuckles, on the other hand, who huffed and grumbled, before continuing along, on their journey, was an idiot for any kind of age.

"No, we need money and candy to be happy."

"What about love?"

"It'll get you killed, boy," he replied, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his coat "Do the rich people love each other?"

"… They love powder…"

"Yeah, but do they love EACHOTHER?"

"… It doesn't look that way, Cap'n…"

"Exactly. But they're happy, aren't they? Because they've got money and candy," he explained. Flapjack looked up at his Captain as though he were an oracle, or something "And I know a fine example of this. She's got money and candy, and no husband or family to love. And she is, without a doubt, the happiest woman in Stormalong."

"Wow, who's that Cap'n?"

K'nuckles wiggled his finger at the boy, silently telling him to wait and see as the Candy Barrel came into view. He held the door open, allowing Flapjack to walk through, and then followed suit, standing briefly in the doorway with a grin on his face and his hands on his hips. He gestured towards the bar.

"And thar she blows."

Rhubarb N. Custard, sat hunched at the bar, sucking on a sour apple candy, with an equally sour expression on her face, was, as usual, anything but happy. To those who didn't know her name, she was the "Boiled Sweet", the living ornament of the Candy Barrel, perched on a bar stool, sweet to look at, but as hot tempered as an over-boiling stove. She spoke not a word to anyone, but the bartender, a smiley, overly-friendly man, by the name of Peppermint Larry, who relentlessly laughed at nothing and made her sick to her stomach. He was always. So. Happy.

However, on some days, her no-speaking-to-anyone policy was broken whenever K'nuckles came stumbling in with or without little boy Flapjack in tow.

She had no choice, really. It wasn't that she particularly minded them; they were alright, K'nuckles, the first person she told her saddest tale to, especially. However, on the same night as her story-telling, she and the Captain made a wager between them. They drew a tie, the contest proving who was the light-weight between them, when it came to candy binges, and because of this, K'nuckles had to do one thing, and she had to do another. The sailor had to put his life straight; Start being a bit more considerate towards the one person he loved; the little boy who followed him around, and Rhubarb was to pay for whatever candy he and the boy wanted for an entire month.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Rhubarb," the Captain said, talking to her with puckered lips and babyish tone to his voice as he wriggled up onto the bar stool beside her. She didn't look at him.

"Dawn't talk to me like dat," her voice was dark and low, as ever "I'm not a baybeh. Just order what you want, Hinges, and leave me alawne."

She still didn't look at him.

"… OK…" he frowned slightly, but then his expression immediately brightened as Larry walked towards them, to take their order. Flapjack laughed excitedly as K'nuckles told the man what they each wanted, not noticing Rhubarb seethe as she set her money down on the table to pay for them. The bartender went away, and the Captain turned his attention back to the miserable young lady. He looked her up and down. Then frowned.

"Hey… You're not wearing a dress, today!"

"I haven't worn a dress, for t'ree weeks, Kuh'Nuhckahles," she replied, moodily, dressed in a baggy shirt and waist coat, trousers and worn-out boots. She still wouldn't look at him. He frowned. Then he looked at her ring finger.

"And you still haven't taken off that ring!"

"Why dawn't I just take your head off?!" she yelled, finally turning her gaze to him, getting right up in his face. Her eyes were red making a cloud pass over K'nuckles' features.

"Hey… Hey, hey, you been cryin', again?"

She fumed, turning away from him, stuffing a sour candy into her mouth "Naw!"

"Yes you have! You're eyes are all red and puffy!"

He yelped as she suddenly grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, yanking him forward so her forehead nearly bashed against his, her knuckles white, she held on that tightly. She growled to him, through gritted teeth "Dawn't play gehmes wid me, Kuh'Nuhckahles. Today is a BAD day."

"What's so bad about it?"

She sighed, releasing her grip on his clothes and turning back to face into the bar, her face dragging the floor "… Today was supposed to be my weddin' day, two years agaw…"

"… Oh…" K'nuckles fidgeted. He wasn't good at dealing with these sorts of things, when sober. He rubbed the back of his neck "Uh… I'm… Sor-"

"Dawn't pity me. You'll make me worse," she grumbled. Larry returned, setting the Captain and his Cabin-Boy's orders onto the table "… Just tale your drinks, and gaw…"

K'nuckles frowned, slipping his wooden hand into the handle of his glass "Rhubarb."

She looked at him.

"I wanna see you in a dress, tomorrow, awright?"

"Why?"

"'Cos quittin' is for quitters. If I have to set my life straight then so. Do. You," he shut his eyes, and turned his nose to the ceiling, slightly, a hand on his hips. She scowled.

"You ain't MY captain, Captain. And besides, dat wasn't part of dee wager."

"Fine. Then carry on cryin' your heart out over some jackass."

"Mehbbe I will!" she buried her face in he forearms and sulked, leaving K'nuckles to roll his eyes, taking his glass over to his favourite booth and sliding into a seat. Flapjack blinked, before tapping the miserable young woman on the shoulder with a shaky hand. She turned her head, looking at him.

"Uh…" he reached into his glass of candy, picking out a sour apple sweet. He then popped it on the counter and beamed, before running towards Captain K'nuckles, laughing like a maniac. He dived into the seat opposite the washed-up old sailor, immediately digging into his candy. The Captain looked at the boy, and then to Rhubarb, who stared at the sweet the boy had just given her and then slowly picked it up, popping it into her mouth. He smiled slightly, taking a gulp of his own candy.

"See what I mean, Flap? She's as happy as a camper."

"I've never been camping, before."

"Yes you have! Remember? We slept in that crate, on the dock."

"Oh, yeah! That was great, huh, Cap'n?"

"Sure was, boy. Sure was."


	3. Two

____________________________

The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack belongs to Thurop Van Orman.

___________________________

* * *

_

Two.

Community service.

Oh, what joy.

Unpaid dock tickets were quickly becoming the bane of K'nuckles' existence; a new one was added to the Dock Hag's collection with every day that passed, for illegally leaving Bubbie unattended in the harbour. It was not, by any means, his fault that the whale was a whale, and not a boat. He supposed the Dock Hag was so hard on him just for the benefit of the creepy doll she had made of him, using the tickets he had earned over the years. He'd ripped it up when he found it, but her weird obsession with him… He was almost sure she was making a new one. He had over-heard her muttering about it, after writing him a ticket and then heading off down the dock, making a point to look back at his face and then, undoubtedly, his crotch.

The Captain shuddered at the very thought, sat backwards on the wooden platform suspended from the deck, down the side of Captain Handy's ship, which, by order of the Dock Hag, had to be scraped clean of any unwanted barnacles or limpets. Sat beside him was Flapjack, who was actually facing the boat, doing as he had been told. He paused, looking at the washed-up old sailor as he stared down into the murky green waters of the sea. The boy hesitated and then reluctantly tapped his shoulder.

"Uh… Cap'n," he looked at him, a single eye narrowed "Not to question your authority, or anything, but… Why don't you need to help, again?"

K'nuckles sighed, and then swung his legs round, in his seat, so he was now facing the boat, wrapping an arm around Flapjack's shoulder "Boy, you want to be an adventurer, right?"

"Boy, do I!"

"You want to be a Captain, just like your good ole' Captain K'nuckie, right?"

The little boy pulled at his hair, eyes wide "More than anything in the whole, wide world…"

"And if you're gonna have a boat of your own, you've gotta learn how to scrape stuff off it, to keep it looking nice."

"But Cap'n… You don't have a boat…"

"No, but I have a Bubbie. And does she have any barnacles and nasty stuff stuck to her?"

"No. She just has maple syrup stains on her tongue…"

"Then go on, boy! Scrape like your life depends on it and you'll be one step closer to adventure!"

"Adventure!" the boy cried excitedly, going back to work, scraping away twice as fast as he had been before. K'nuckles chuckled and patted his head, before swinging his legs round, so he was facing the water and docks. People passed by, in dresses and suits, pinstripes and high heels. Dainty, powdered women with tiny, tiny, crushed in waists, on the arms of elder, much less virtuous looking men; scientists, doctors, entrepreneurs, arrogant, surly, horrible men.

God, how he envied them.

They all had money and power. And women. The only woman the Captain could get was the Dock Hag and her sex was somewhat… Questionable. The only power the Captain had was over Bubbie, and even then, that was only when Flapjack encouraged her to play along. She was stubborn and impossible, and she would. Not. Listen. And the only riches the Captain had were in his character; he had not a penny to his name, which was why he was now doing community service.

Well… It was why Flapjack was doing community service, actually.

K'nuckles sulked.

"Hey, Cap'n?"

"What, boy?"

"You seem troubled. Something bothering you?" he was hugging him again. He narrowed an eye, yet did nothing.

"I'm fine. Just hungry."

Flapjack's stomach growled "… Yeah… Tummy says I'm hungry, too."

K'nuckles pushed his hat up and rubbed his forehead, tiredly.

"When can we get off work? Hanging here is giving me a headache."

"Not sure… Want me to ask?"

He gave a short nod and the boy set off, wrapping his arms and legs around one of the ropes that kept their seats suspended, and clambered up onto the deck. There was muttering and footsteps; boots clunking heavily on the wooden boards of the ship, and even the shrill cry of the Dock Hag over the top, yelling something about unpaid tickets and making up for them. K'nuckles only half listened, getting shakily to his feet, clinging to the rope to keep himself from falling, mostly just paying attention to the grumbling in his stomach when Flapjack popped his head over the side to call down to him.

"Hey, K'nuckles! We can take a lunch break! And then we've got to make deliveries for Peppermint Larry."

The Captain groaned and whined and grumbled as he heaved himself heavily up the rope and onto the deck. His rickety legs gave way, and he fell in a heap at the Dock Hag's feet. She looked down at him, then bought a hand to her mouth, emitting a raspy giggle, blood in her cheeks.

"Easy, there, Sailor. No peeking, on the job."

He let out a yelp of disgust, scrabbling a fair distance away, latching onto Flapjack and pulling himself upright. The questionable looking woman gave what he supposed could be considered a flirty smile, only making him duck behind his Cabin-Boy, shuddering.

"Well, thanks for the work you did on my boat, boys," said Captain Handy, tall and chunky with a round, round face and a hook for a hand, as the two of them jumped down from his boat onto the dock.

"Yeah… See y-"

"Bye, Cap'n!" Flapjack exclaimed, waving like a lunatic before speeding off, K'nuckles closely in tow, a scowl on his face.

"Hey, I thought I was 'Cap'n'."

"Oh!" the boy came to a sudden halt, spinning back to face his Captain, looking guilty. He looked up at him with those big blue eyes, K'nuckles awkwardly looking away from them to the floor, brow furrowed as he was fawned over "I'm sorry, Cap'n, I never meant it like that!"

The sailor fidgeted, uncomfortably, but then shook his head, ruffling the young boys hair "Awright, boy, I'm kidding. No harm done, eh?"

A wide, wide grin spread across and K'nuckles clamped his eyes shut and twisted his mouth readying himself as that inevitable, rattling, high-pitched laughter rang from the boy's throat as he ran off ahead, towards the Candy Barrel, leaving the Captain to grumble to himself, considering taking the boy for a visit to Dr. Barber for perhaps a friendly bit of alteration in the vocal-chord department.

"Afternoon, Flapjack, how can I he-"

"Candy Mandy, Candy Mandy, Candy Mandy, please!" Peppermint Larry was cut short by the over-excited Cabin-Boy as he came charging through the swing doors and pretty much leapt up onto the counter, getting right up in the bartender's face, grinning madly.

"Woah, woah, hold on, eager beaver. WOOD you be able to give me any money to pay for that Candy Mandy?" the stringy man cackled at his pun, wriggling happily as K'nuckles clunked into the bar. He froze, his smile fading, and the two shared a steely glare.

"K'nuckles."

"Peppers."

"So, do you two have any money, or what?" he leant his elbow on the bar, and then his chin in his hand, smirking expectantly.

"No, but I have a Rhubarb," the Captain looked pleased with himself, gesturing down the bar. Larry, also, looked quite pleased with himself, as the haggard-looking man gestured to an empty bar stool. He stood up straight and laughed.

"Well, I'm afraid a Rhubarb can't pay if it's not here. She hasn't been in all day, has she, Candy Wife?"

Candy Wife sat still and stiff. Being made of candy, alone, she very rarely said anything at all, but she was loved, all the same, by the apparently very lonely Peppermint Larry, who considered her his best and greatest companion as he had a one-sided conversation with her, across the room, leaving the Captain and his Cabin-Boy to look between them, and then at one another, confused.

The man continued nattering away, talking nonsensical twaddle about Rhubarb not being the only regular face that hadn't turned up that day. Another face reported missing was that of a Mr. W. D. Muttonfluffer, the cinematographist, who came in on Wednesday afternoons with his special flashy box, for the picture shows. It was odd; he always came in on Wednesdays, without fail…

K'nuckles frowned and then eventually cut into the Bartender's conversation "Uh… So…"

"No money, no candy, m'friend," Larry replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shrugging his shoulders, a not-bothered smile on her face "Which I suppose, means your lunch break is over."

"Aw, c'm-"

"Deliver this," he heaved a medium sized crate onto the counter, labelled with "Sour Apples" in big bold letters. He then passed a card to Flapjack "To this address, in Upper Stormalong."

"But I'm so hungry," the little boy looked sadly up at him, putting those soft, boiled eyes to work, as his Captain had taught him, and pouting out his bottom lip. Larry arched an eyebrow.

Mission failed.

"I can't believe we have to deliver a crate o' candy, and we don't even get to eat any," Flapjack whined as he gradually, gradually pushed it along the dock, K'nuckles parked lazily on top, being no help whatsoever "And this thing sure is heavy…"

"Well…" the man hopped off the crate, and shoved the boy out of his way, scratching his chin, one eye narrowed. He rubbed his hands together, hungrily "Why don't we make it a little lighter, eh, boy?"

"But… Isn't that stealing?"

"Yeah, but…" he didn't even bother at trying for a response before he started clawing at the crate, propping one foot up against it and giving the lid a hard pull. He grunted "Agrh… C'mon and help me get this stupid thing open, boy."

"Um…" Flapjack tapped his chin, in thought, looking about, before finally spotting a rickety wooden staircase up onto a roof. He pointed, a sharp, high pitched intake of breath as he exclaimed "Hey, why don't we drop it from there, and smash it open?"

"Clever boy," K'nuckles laughed, picking up one end of the crate. The boy took hold of the other and they quickly made their way up the stairs onto the rooftop. They swung it back, then forth, back, then forth, rhythmically "OK… One… Two…"

There was a pause.

"… Three, Cap'n?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, boy, just throw the crate… Now!" they flung the crate from off the roof and watched it fall with wide, eager smiles, stomachs grumbling for candy. These smiles quickly faded, however, as the wooden container smashed into the dock with a loud crunch of breaking wood, falling straight through to the waters below. They stared.

"… Cap'n?"

"Yes, boy?"

"Dock Hag's gonna kill us if she finds this big, gaping hole in the dock…"

"… Hands in pockets, boy, hands in pockets."

Simultaneously, they stuffed their hands into their pockets and waltzed back down the stairs, whistling nonchalantly as they walked a good few metres from the building. They then started at a run, rounding a corner into the next street.

Nobody could prove it was them.

And what the Dock Hag didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Or them, rather.

"K'nuckles," Flapjack panted, still galloping along, slightly ahead of the unfit Captain "What are we gonna do about the candy? Someone's expecting to get it!"

"Uh…" K'nuckles slowed to a stop, bent over double as he caught his breath. He scratched his head "Well… We could just… Not tell them."

"Yeah but… Won't they get mad at Peppermint Larry?"

"So?"

"Well, it wasn't his fault. It's not fair."

"Life isn't fair."

"But Cap-"

"I don't want to talk about this, anymore, boy," the Captain cut him off, waving a hand at him, before standing up straight and making his way idly down the street. Flapjack frowned.

"K'nuckles, c'mon, I don't want Larry getting in trouble, 'cos of us."

"Yeah, well, I don't want you to keep talking. But that's just not happening for me, is it?"

The boy fumed "Well, FINE. I'll just go and tell the customer myself!"

"You do that."

"I will!"

The Cabin-Boy then turned on his heel with a "humph" and stomped off towards Upper Stormalong, leaving his Captain to turn away, his nose in the air and his arms crossed, huffing.

There was a brief pause where he did nothing…

… Then he grumbled and caught up, deciding he really had nothing better to do.

"Boy, if Larry's not gonna get in trouble, doesn't that mean that we WILL?"

"Well… Yeah but… At least you get the warm fuzzy feeling, from being good, and telling the truth. And apologising."

K'nuckles heaved.

After about ten minutes of walking, they finally entered into the upper regions of the town and started on the quest for number twenty two, Pheasant Street. The Captain snorted, wondering just what flowery, powered-faced snob they were supposed to be delivering those sour-apples to. He then gained the image, in his head, of some poor unfortunate, such as Charles, Lady Nickelbottom's loyal servant, trying one of the sour, sour sweets for the time, and his lips tightening so tightly that his face pretty much imploded.

"Who's that thing addressed to, anyway, Flap?"

"… It just says the address, no name," the boy, replied. The Captain scratched the side of his face, then looked about the street "… Do you see it Captain…?"

"Uh…" honestly? K'nuckles couldn't actually identify what the number twenty two looked like. He "ummed" and "urred", still scratching his cheek with his wooden claws, before shutting his eyes and pointing to a random house "… That one?"

Flapjack walked up the garden path and inspected it. He grinned "… Hey, Cap'n, this is it!"

"Hooray…" the Captain's voice dripped with sarcasm as he ambled up the garden path and stood beside the boy, hands in his pockets as Flapjack rang the bell.

The house wasn't very big, but it certainly was nice, tall and thin, painted a spotless white, rouge shutters redundantly attached to the windows for decoration, alone. With stained glass, in the door, in the pattern of multi-coloured candies, who ever lived in this house had quite the sweet tooth, it seemed. A few moments passed where the door stood untouched, before it was finally pulled open by, apparently, the chamber maid of the house-hold.

They stated their business.

"I'm afraid the Mistress isn't here, right now."

The woman parked in the door of the twenty second house in Upper Stormalong was short and fat, with hamster-like cheeks, red in hue and a squashed in nose that resembled a disfigured tomato, when by the name of Mrs. Podding.

"Yeah, well, can you give her the message that her order, from the Candy Barrel was uh… Mysteriously lost…" Flapjack elbowed the Captain in the ribs, making him jerk away slightly, scowling, before heaving a deep sigh "OK, OK, we uh… accidentally dropped it into the harbour…"

"Oh, well…" the chamber maid scratched her nose, before smiling slightly "I think that might just be a god send. She eats so many of those things, it's hardly good for her teeth…"

K'nuckles snorted "Who are you, her mother?"

"Perhaps not, but she certainly means a lot to me. Ms. Custard treats me and Andrew so well. She's more like family than an employer."

There was a small pause.

"… Wait, Ms. Custard?"

"Yes…"

"As in Rhubarb Custard?"

"The very same."

"… Oh, no…" The captain's heart sank. If Rhubarb ever found out that he and Flapjack had tried to steal her candy, he would be in so much crap… Better yet, if she found out that they had tried to steal her candy, and then lost it… K'nuckles considered just plodding off to the gallows, by his own will, considering them to be a better fate than what ever Rhubarb might do to him.

"Uh, would you like to leave your names, so she knows who delivered the mes-"

"No!" he interrupted, a little more desperately than he had hoped. She stared at him as he grinned sheepishly, awkwardly pulling at the lapels of his coat "Um… Th-that won't be necessary. Just tell her she'll get another order, another day…"

"Um… Of course, sir."

"Right… See ya, then."

"Good day."

"Bye, lady!" Flapjack shrieked, waving madly, before being yanked from the doorway and off down the garden path by his wrist, K'nuckles grumbling worriedly, hastening away, so as not to bump into Rhubarb…

Well… Until he came to a sudden pause…

"… Say, Flap…?"

"Yeah, Cap'n?"

"If Rhubarb's not at the Candy Barrel, and she's not at home… Where do you think she is…?"

The little boy hummed for a moment, tapping his chin, but then gave a simple shrug "I dunno, Cap'n. Maybe she went for a walk, or something'."

He shrugged a second time, not really that bothered, continuing on his way with the Captain plodding behind him, eyes downcast to the floor in thought.

Usually, when one looks at the floor as they walk, they're much more likely to bump into people; as far as I know, people don't have eyes on the crowns of their heads. So as a young woman walked towards him, inevitably, their shoulders bumped painfully against one another's, both turning stern eyes on one another with a simultaneous; "Hey! Watch where you're goin'!"

The Captain raised his eyebrows as he realised he'd bumped into Ms. Custard… He took a nervous step backward "Uh… Sorry…"

She narrowed an eye, then bowed her head slightly "Kuh'Nuhckahles."

"Hey, Rhubarb," she didn't look at the little boy as he greeted her, simply kept her eyes on K'nuckles as he fidgeted uncomfortably.

"… What' wrong wi'chu…?" she asked. He panicked slightly. She couldn't know they'd lost her candy; he'd be a dead man. He coughed and cleared his throat, looking for something to quickly change the subject.

"Uh, there's nothing wrong uh…" he rubbed the back of his head then reached forward, pulling slightly at the hem of her dress "A dress, today? I didn't think you did what people expected of you."

She rolled her eyes "I didn't wear it just to please you, Captehn. Maybe I just felt like it."

"Yeah, but then maybe my opinion matters," he replied, smirking. She twisted her mouth, unhappily, the blush in her cheeks not going unnoticed. He chuckled in his throat "Hey, you're lookin' a bit hot under the collar there, doll. What's got you so flu-"

She kicked his leg, the unstable hinges giving way so he fell, face flat to the floor. He grumbled, lifting his head and glaring up at her as she leered down at him in turn. He went to push himself to his feet, but then paused, a red stain on the skirt of the young woman's dress catching his eye. He blinked.

Blood.

"Hey… Where's this blood come from…?"

"Eh?" she took a step back, brow furrowed as he pushed him self to his feet, her hem in his wooden hand, not actually caring that he was showing the world her petticoat and undergarments as he examined it. She let out an unusually girly squeal, snatching it out of his hand and smacking him across the face "Kuh'Nuhckahles!"

"Why's there blood on your dress?"

"I dawn't knaw!" she snapped. It was as she crossed her arms that he noticed it was also flecked all up her sleeves. He frowned.

"It's everywh-"

"Good day, Captain," she gave a short curtsey, making a point to stamp on his foot as she stormed off in the direction of her house. He gritted his teeth, growling angrily in his throat, but then turned up his nose and continued in the opposite direction, the little boy in tow.

"Crazy kid," he grumbled, looking put-out and slightly pained as his foot throbbed in his boot. By this point, Rhubarb had entered her house and briefly spoken to Mrs. Podding. She threw open her front door, again, enraged "She could kill somebody, she could, Flap."

"Is that why she's running towards us looking like she's about to strangle you?"

* * *

  
It was raining the following day, and, sat on the dock looking sour, K'nuckles peered at his reflection, in a puddle, taking careful note of just how painful looking his black eye was. He pulled at his eyelid with his fingers, then groaned.

"See? Told ya she could kill."

"Who could kill?" Bubbie asked, floating on the waters, before him, Flapjack sat on her tongue in her open mouth.

"Rhubarb."

The blonde little boy giggled, clapping his hands "She "wants you", doesn't she, Captain?"

"She most certainly does," he looked very please with himself, for a moment, his sour expression replaced with closed and an arrogant little smile "I mean, who can blame her, right?"

"Mmhmm," Bubbie crossed her arms, looking unimpressed as he pulled proudly at the lapels of his coat "You look particularly fetchin' with that shiner o' yours, K'nuckles."

His face immediately fell and he went back to pulling at his eyelid, staring into the puddle.

"If she "wants you" so badly, then why'd she hit you?"

"We lost her candy, right, Flap?"

"Right, Cap'n!"

Bubbie frowned "How'd you lose her candy…?"

"We threw her crate off the top of a roof, so we could get the candy ourselves! But it fell into the ocean, instead," Flapjack replied, matter-of-factly, grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh, Flapjack, what have I told you about stealin' other peoples food?"

"B-but… But K'nuckles sa-"

The boy was interrupted by the whale slamming her fists hard onto the dock, with so much force that the Captain was sent springing skywards, before falling painfully back onto the ground. He grunted.

"I told you, K'nuckles, stop POISONIN' my BABY!"

"Easy, Bubbie. We didn't actually DO anything wrong. Sure, we TRIED to but we never actually got round to-" K'nuckles' sentence was cut short by a piece of paper as it blew into his face. He flailed his arms, helplessly "I'm blind!"

"K'nuckles, you're so silly," Flapjack laughed, clambering out of Bubbie's mouth onto the dock, standing up on his tip-toes and pulling the paper from his Captain's face. He looked down at it and read aloud; "Missing; Mr. W. D. Muttonfluffer, Cinematographist."

"Mm? Yeah… Larry said, yesterday, that he's been missing…" K'nuckles thought on it for a moment, then shrugged "Maybe he's dead."

"Cap'n! That's not very nice!"

"Yeah, well," he shrugged again, uncaring. Flapjack looked up at his face and then down at the piece of paper. He frowned.

"… If he… IS dead… What do you think happened to him…?"

"Maybe he was eaten by Eight-Armed Willy."

"OR, maybe," Bubbie interjected, scowling at the pessimistic captain "He just went away, to show other people his picture shows."

"… Meh. I bet he's dead."

"K'nuckles!"

"What?! If you ask me, he's dead, dead, dead, and he ain't ever coming back," he paused, thinking "… Maybe he's been murdered."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, hinges. Who would murder him?"

"A pshyco, that's who. Sometimes you just get people who like to cause others pain. Maybe he made somebody real angry, and they just couldn't take it anymore. I've seen it happen."

"You mean like you losing Ms. Custard's candy, so she gave you a black eye?"

"Yeah, like me losing Rhubarb's candy, so she gave me a… Black… Eye…"

K'nuckles stared out into the sea, eyes wide and his lips parted in surprise. Flapjack blinked at him "… Cap'n…? Cap'n what's wrong…?"

"… She… had blood splattered all up her dress, yesterday… The same day Muttonfluffer wasn't at the Candy Barrel…"

"K'nuckles… What are you saying…?"

He swallowed.

"Rhubarb's a murderer…"


	4. Three

The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack was created by Thurop Van Orman.

* * *

Three.

"Cap'n, what's that song you used to sing, sometimes?"

"What song?"

"The one about a ship with mice for sailors and a duck for a captain?"

"Oh, um…" K'nuckles sat on the dock and swung his legs almost mechanically in time with the young boy sat beside him, scratching his chin "… I don't wanna sing that song, Flapjack."

Flapjack pouted, looking up at him with big, wobbly eyes "Why not?"

"I just don't want to."

"Please! It's my favourite song!"

"I don't remember how it goes, Flappy. Now be quiet!" he snapped, giving his cabin-boy a slight shove side ways, the palm of his hand squashed into his face. Flapjack blinked for a moment, then giggled, squashing his own hand into the Captain's face, and much harder at that, so much so that it was more a punch than a push. He jumped, a numb pain in his cheek, then pretended to burst into tears, wailing about the pain.

"Oooow," he cried, rubbing his face and hiding away. Flapjack stared in horror, blinking a couple of times as K'nuckles stopped his whining and grinned at him, teasing "Bet you can't hit me again."

"Bet I can!" and with that, they leapt to their feet and the washed-up sailor went clumping heavily down the dock, the little boy in tow, both laughing "I'm gonna get you."

"Not on your life, boy!" he called behind him, laughing, until he collided painfully with a street lamp, stopping him in his tracks, and finishing the fun. He stayed glued to it for a moment, and then fell lifelessly backwards, flat on his back, staring dizzily towards the sky.

"Captain?!" the little boys face appeared, leaning worriedly over him "Captain, are you alright?"

K'nuckles opened and closed his eyes a few times, trying to make sense of his blurred vision, before pushing himself up into a sitting position, rubbing his head. He then pawed protectively at his nose, checking for blood or any further disfigurement. The Captain had had it broken many times before in the past, in many different ways, from, mortifyingly, falling flat on his face while running from someone who wanted to beat him up, or from just getting beaten up, not having the chance to run away and break it himself. And as a result, each sickening crack had made history on it's shape. In his eyes, it was his crowning achievement; he'd actually managed to keep a body part.

He let out a satisfied, perhaps reassured hum, before nodding and replying "Yeah, boy. No harm done."

"Ah, well, good," the boy hugged him, making him fidget uncomfortably, as always "Can't have my Captain getting an ouchie."

"I'm not a baby, kid, don't fuss," he shoved him off, leaving him sprawled on his back as he got to his feet, dusting himself down, scratching his nose. He looked about the dock, his eyebrows rising up his forehead when he noticed "Missing" posters were dotted about the street, on walls and lamp posts.

There had been a few, before, of W. D. Muttonfluffer, but, now, apparently, the Professor had gone missing too; an intelligent man set on creating invention after invention ideal for flight. His face was plastered on posters, too, a description of him and his name below. K'nuckles frowned.

"Another one down…" he thought, aloud, scratching the side of his face "Rhubarb's really snapped, huh, boy?"

"Hey, K'nuckles…?" the Captain looked at his cabin-boy, who awkwardly twiddled his thumbs before finally continuing "… How can you be so sure that Ms. Custard's the one going round wiping people out?"

"C'mon, boy, you saw the blood on her dress! She's a very clever young lady, Flap. She probably wore that dress in the first place to lull Muttonfluffer into a false sense of security. Like a pretty lady like her would kill someone. And the Professor? She's done that so stealthily that no one's caught wind of it until these posters were put up."

Flapjack blinked a couple of times.

"… It could be a coincide-"

"No, Flapjack, something is definitely up with that girl. She can't be trusted; not with anything," he narrowed his eyes, as though trying to look determined and dramatic. He then broke into a grin "Now, c'mon, boy, let's head over to the Candy Barrel for some free eats!"

"Yes, sir!"

One mad sprint, later, the two arrived at the bar, crashing through the swing doors and diving onto a couple of barstools, saliva almost dripping hungrily from their open mouths as they asked for their usual fix of candy. The bartender narrowed an eye at them, then shrugged, preparing their candy and then serving them.

"That'll be four gold coins, please."

K'nuckles pointed happily to Ms. Custard a couple of seats away. She made no motion, simply kept her head down "Ask her."

Larry looked at him and his cabin-boy with a chuckle in his throat, as though he knew something, that they didn't, and that matter was, apparently, quite entertaining. He strode towards Rhubarb and leaned across the bar, muttering in her ear, before walking back and swiping their orders from the counter.

"Hubba-wha'?! B-but she's right there!" Flapjack cried, eyes wide and pained.

K'nuckles fumed, looking from the bartender to the young lady "Hey, what gives?!"

"Month's up, Kuh'Nuhckahles."

The Captain spluttered "Excuse me?!"

She raised her head, and glared "Dee mont' is up. I dawn't have t'pay for ye' candy, naw more."

An encore of unintelligent spluttering, and then the washed-up old sailor was on his feet, slamming his wooden hands down onto the counter beside her, getting up in her face "No way. No way it's been a month."

"I been keepin' track, Captain. What? Ye' t'ink I actually Ienjoy/I passin' out candy tuh bums like you?"

He stared. Then scowled, taking her shoulder and turning her to face him, prodding her in the chest "Look, missy, I don't know who you think you are but-"

As the Captain was poking away, he didn't pay much attention to the fact that he had prodded her right in her left breast, but she paid full attention, and he was instantaneously in the soup. She buckled her knees to her chest and kicked him backwards with both feet, without a word or even a sound, before returning to her candy, eyes dark. As always.

He stood, sprawled against a bar stool, staring. He didn't know what to do from there, really. His blood was boiling in his veins, and he REALLY wanted to show that girl what for, but he couldn't. He could push little girls to giant, man-eating squids, but he most certainly harm a hair on a pretty young woman, like Rhubarb. All the Captain could do was glare. And then look at Flapjack, expectantly.

Flapjack stared back, and then blinked "Oh!" he grinned, and trotted happily up to the young woman, tugging at her waist coat a couple of times "Hey, Ms. Custard. Can you… Maybe buy candy for us one last time?"

She narrowed her eyes, and looked at the little boy with the steeliest of glares. He wasn't fazed, just blinked at her a couple of times, grinning.

"Pleeeease…?"

She didn't reply. Just turned away.

"Hey, hey, don't ignore the boy!" K'nuckles snapped, taking Flapjack's shoulder and pulling him protectively backwards. She said nothing. The Captain fumed "And don't ignore me, either! Now pay for our god damn ca-"

"WHY SHOULD I?!" she dove from her seat and grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him roughly forwards, her nose almost knocking his, her teeth bared and her eyes ablaze. God, this kid got so angry. The Captain thought, for a moment, trying to conjure up a response that wouldn't result with a good fist in his face, and then his sly and cunning (though still rather stupid) mind hatched a grand, grand idea. A wide, unfriendly grin spread across his face, and he circled his hands around her wrists, leaning forward ever so slightly, as though to kiss her, but then murmured in her ear.

"Because we know your secret."

There was a pause, where he kept his face by her ear, both of them looking over each other shoulders, her hands still clutching to his shirt, and his still holding onto her wrists. From the outside, looking in, they actually looked quite sweet, if not a bit creepy. But of course, what was being discussed between them was much, much darker than a simple, romantic embrace. Rhubarb blinked a couple of times, opening and closing her mouth, before she frowned.

"What secrit?"

"Oh, I think you know."

"… You… You're lyin'. You dawn't knaw nothi-"

"Oh, but we do, Ms. Rhubarb. We're a very intelligent couple o' scallywags, young Flap, and I."

She snorted unpleasantly in his ear "Dawn't make me laugh. Dee boy, perhaps, but you' as t'ick a' two short planks."

He sucked his teeth and grinned "Ah, ah, ah. I wouldn't go 'round sayin' stuff like that if I were you. We've got the dirt on you, beautiful."

She faltered, and he knew he'd got her. Even when she spluttered with a "I… You dawn't got n-naw dirt on me. You knaw nuttin' about me," he knew he'd got her wrapped around his little wooden finger. He chuckled cruelly in her ear, as she released his shirt and tried to pull away, but he held her fast, still smirking over her shoulder. He heard her swallow "… H-h… H-how did you find out…? I… I-I thought I was so careful… I di'n't want naw one to kn-"

"Aw, Rhubie," she struggled. Apparently, she didn't like that name. He grinned "Rhubie, Rhubie, Rhubie, you were careless about it, there's no doubt about that. You had blood on your dress. You thought I wouldn't notice?"

She let out a shaking breath, a panic in her voice he'd never heard before. He loved it "D-dawn't… D-dawn't tell naw one… Please."

"Ah," K'nuckles pulled back a little, looking her in the eye with a devious grin on his face "Well, that's where things get interesting."

"I dawn't like dee sound o' dis…"

"If you keep buying me and my little buddy, here," he gestured to Flapjack "Candy, then maybe we'll help keep your antics a secret."

Rhubarb blinked at him incredulously "… I could get you anything. Money, clothes, priceless jewels, the lot. And yet… You' black mailin' me for… Candy…?"

He clucked her chin "That sounds about right, Rhubie."

"Dawn't call me that."

"Rhubie."

"Stop it."

Good god, it was grand. K'nuckles, at first, only asked for candy, for him and his Cabin-Boy, and Rhubarb obliged. Not happily, no, but she didn't have a say in the matter. If the Captain was going to keep her dirty little secret for her, then it was only fair he got something in return, right? It was when he realised that, like Rhubarb had said, she could get him pretty much anything he wanted, with the money from her Daddy's Hatter firm, that he started to use it more so to his advantage, than the advantage of his stomach. The following day, he ordered her about the town with him and Flapjack, looking for anything that took their fancy, and he returned home to Bubbie, that day with a freshly tailored coat, and a new hat. Flapjack, with little interest in clothing, had a lollipop bigger than his head.

"Hey, uh, Flap," the Captain began, eyeing the lollipop in his grubby little hands, as they plodded down the stairs, Rhubarb still in tow. She wasn't allowed to go home, yet, just in case K'nuckles decided he wanted something else "… Gizza lick o' that lollipop, eh?"

"No, get your own!" the boy cried, snatching it out of his reach. K'nuckles frowned, trying to make a grab for it again, jerking his hand backwards as Flapjack snapped at his wooden fingers with his teeth, before sprinting off down the stairs, no doubt to tell on him.

"Boy, you really knaw how to control dat kid, eh?" Rhubarb piped up, still traipsing behind. The Captain glared at her.

"Quiet, woman. I haven't forgotten, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, I knaw, I knaw. Jackass."

"K'nuckles!" came an, as always, angry cry, from down the stairs "Get yo' theivin' butt DOWN HERE!"

K'nuckles heaved a deep, tired sigh, rubbing his forehead before clunking slowly down the stairs, knowing that, whether he was right or wrong, Bubbie was going to verbally murder his ear drums. He paused half way down the stairs, then looked back up at Rhubarb "… Aren't you comin'?"

She blinked a couple of times, and then quietly followed, plodding down the stairs behind him, wringing her hands.

"K'NUCKLES!"

"What?!"

"You been tryin' to steal my baby's lollipop?!"

"No! Whatever he says, it's not true!"

As Rhubarb reached the bottom of the stairs, still in tow of the captain, she swallowed loudly at the sight of Bubbie sat floating on the water, clutching onto Flapjack as he whined and pointed at the washed-up old sailor. K'nuckles only protested, and the whale snapped at him, and ranted and lectured. Rhubarb covered her ears at the noise.

"What's wrong wid you, ol' man?! Why you always gotta ruin things for Flapjack?!"

"All I did was ask for a lick of his lollipop! Is that so wrong?!"

"If I gave it you, you'd eat the whole thing!" Flapjack accused.

"So?!"

Rhubarb crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly to the side, watching as the unorthodox family of three bickered and argued with one another, over a lollypop that had long been thrown off into the ocean, as Flapjack had flung his hands above his head in dismay.

"See?! See how much that stupid lolly MEANT to him?! He just threw it into the ocean!" K'nuckles cried.

"I didn't mean to!"

"K'nuckles, go an' get my baby another lolly pop!"

"Well, why don't YOU do it!"

"I can't walk, fool, I'm a whale!" she snapped, waving her flippers around in frustration. She then blinked at him, a couple of times "… Where'd you two even get the money to pay for that thing, anyway?"

"Ms. Custard bought it for me!" Flapjack replied, happily "She's real nice."

"She's not nice, Flappy," K'nuckles said, looking at Rhubarb with a smirk. She narrowed her eyes "She's just a coward."

"Why, you little-"

"Ah, ah, ah," the Captain grinned from ear to ear as the young woman threateningly cracked her knuckles, advancing toward him "Watch it, Rhubie, or I just might tell your little secret."

She flinched back a little "… Please dawn't…"

"Well, you'll have to be a lot nicer to me, if you don't want me to tell."

"Wait, wait…" Bubbie interrupted, frowning "… So it's true…?"

Rhubarb blinked at her a couple of the times, then hit K'nuckles in the arm "You TAWD her?!"

"What?! I didn't even think about it. I was just mulling it over, trying to make sense of it, and she just happened to be there, at the time."

"UGH, is nuttin' PRIVATE?!" she steamed, stamping her foot on the dock. She then crossed her arms. Bubbie frowned a little, taking Flapjack protectively in her arms, and then frowning at K'nuckles.

"So you're… Blackmailing her…?"

"Yes."

"No, I'm not," K'nuckles replied, indignantly "It's more of a… I'll scratch her back if she scratches mine, kind of thing. I'll keep her secret for her, if she pays me back."

"So, yes, you're black mailing her."

"Oh, c'mon, Bubbie, like she doesn't DESERVE it!"

"What I do?!" Rhubarb spluttered, incredulously.

"Oh, c'mon. You know what you did, sicko. Puttin' people out of their misery, what done you no harm!"

"What?! I like to help people, i' dat saw WRONG?!"

"Help, she says!" K'nuckles scoffed, crossing his arms. She blinked at him a couple of times, then shook her head, in defeat.

"So, K'nuckles, are you gonna go get my baby another lollypop, or what?"

He grumbled "Fine. I want one, too, anyway. C'mon, Rhubie."

"Rhubarb."

"Rhubie," he sang.

As K'nuckles marched back up the stairs, with a miserable Rhubarb skulking after him, Bubbie watched, with a furrowed brow. The young woman had said she liked to help people… Whatever was going on… The whale wasn't quite sure if it was what K'nuckles believed it to be…

The ten minute walk from the docks to the candy shop that sold those lollipops was spent in utter silence, bar the Captain randomly singing "Rhubiiiie" over the top of the crowd, just to get on Rhubarb's nerves. She said nothing though, only seethed to herself. Disappointed that she wasn't really reacting, it finally came to K'nuckles' attention that Rhubarb was very, very quiet. Not just on this occasion, but always. Even when she spoke, she wasn't very loud. He smirked a little, behind him, as she traipsed along, with her head down, and her eyes dark. It was as though she was sitting at the bar, only her legs were moving, those girly pigtails of hers wiggling a little, with her movements. Alright, so this kid had always been weird about who she spoke to, but she spoke to him every now and again, and they'd got pretty damn friendly, before, so what her problem was, K'nuckles had no idea.

He smirked a little, reaching back and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in line with him and holding her against him "Heya, Rhubie. What's wrong, doll? You shy o' me, or somethin'? You never talk much."

"I dawn't like to talk, much," she replied, simply, untangling herself from his arm, and setting it back down by his side. He snorted incredulously, as she then practically turned up her nose, and breezed ahead of him, putting her forearms up against the Candy shop door, and pushing her way inside, letting it shut in his face, after her. He smiled slightly, pushing it open again, following her inside.

"I guess you've gotta keep your head down, huh, darlin'?"

He was ignored.

The shop wasn't anything, special, really, with a few random shelves dotted about the walls, with fair sized jars, full of candy, sat on each one. Despite its size, the place sold pretty good candy. He looked about for a moment, then looked to Rhubarb who was stood by the pot that usually contained the lollypops they were after. He drew closer, peering over her shoulder, at the singular lollipop leant up in the pot. He blinked a couple of times, then leaned over her, grabbing it and picking it up.

"Welp, I guess Flap goes without."

"K'nuckles," Rhubarb grabbed his arm as he began to walk to the counter, ripping the candy from his hand "Bubbie will kick ye' tush tuh Candied Island, if ye' keep dat lolly for y'self."

"Well, that's just more Candy for me, then, isn't it?" he sassed, narrowing an eye at her as he snatched it back. She yanked it from him, a second time.

"Y'knaw what I mean," she growled, before going to the counter and paying for it. She then went outside, K'nuckles whining after her.

"Well, why should Flap get it? He already had half a lollypop and then he threw it in the o-"

The Captain was suddenly cut off by Rhubarb whipping a lollypop from the holster of her belt, briefly twiddling it in her fingers and sticking it in his mouth, scowling "Dere, happy?"

He blinked a couple of times, then started giggling happily, behind the candy, the same way he always did when there was something sweet in his mouth. She looked at him for a moment, as he happily slurped on it, before smiling ever so slightly. She mumbled a quiet "Cute," which went unnoticed to the Sailor, before she turned and began to make her way back up the street, with the intention of heading back to Bubbie. K'nuckles slurped on his lollypop for a second longer, before following.

He reached out, and took her shoulder "Hey, Rhubie, can we have a seat, somewhere? Eating and walking at the same time makes my stomach cramp."

She snorted "Fatty."

"Hey!"

The two of them sat on the docks, their legs swinging over the ocean, as the lollypop gradually got smaller and smaller. Of course, they sat in silence, bar the Captains slurping. He cheerfully swung his legs, looking out across the sea, before he glanced at Rhubarb. She had her head down, again, face dragging the floor. He tilted his head, slightly, then gently punched her shoulder "Hey, stop that."

"Whut?"

"Sulking."

"Pfft," she snorted, crossing her arms, and turning her head away. He twisted his mouth, not really knowing what to say. She was so difficult, and she made everything so awkward. He reached up, and scratched his cheek, still licking at his candy.

"So uh…" he paused, trying to think of what to say. Then an idea came to mind "… That uh… Thing you do…"

"Dee t'ing you' blackmailin' me for, y'mean?"

"Yeah… Um… Why do you do it…?"

"Experience, I s'pawse," she replied, scratching her nose. There was another awkward silence.

"… What do you want experience, for?"

"Ebby mikkle mek a mukkle."

He blinked.

"… What?"

"Ebby. Mikkle. Mek. A mukkle," she repeated, slowly, as though she believed him to be stupid. He stared at her for a moment, and then burst out laughing. She smiled slightly, at that.

"What does that even mean, lass?"

"Ebby little bit counts, Captain," she replied, leaning back on her hands and kicking her legs a couple of times "Dee more experience I get, dee clawser I get to what I want."

He looked at her, his face drooping, miserably.

"Oh… Oh, Rhubie," he reached out and gently patted her shoulder "… It's not gonna get Mr. Cocoa back, darlin'. I know what it's like to do anything, to get someone's love, but… It's just not gonna happen, sweetheart."

"… I'm not doin' it to get Mr. Cocoa back, eediat," she replied, bitterly. Any mention of her fiancé never made her all that happy. He should have learnt that, by now.

"Then why ARE you doing it…?"

"Da's none o' y'business," she snapped. She looked at him briefly, then stuck her tongue out. He smirked, sticking his tongue out in turn. He then looked to the empty holster of belt, where the lollypop in his mouth had formerly been.

"Hey, Rhubie?"

"Mm?"

"Why do you keep a lollypop in your belt?"

She looked at the empty holster, then at him again, with a shrug of her shoulder "Just in case dere a special occasion."

"Oh?" he asked, looking quite pleased with himself, for a moment, slurping away on the lollypop in question "So does that make Ime/I a special occasion?"

She cocked her head to the side, with the tiniest smile, as he plucked the clean stick from his mouth and flicked it into the ocean. She tittered a little, before replying "… You're an awkay awcassion, I s'pawse."

He grinned.


	5. Four

Four

Captain K'nuckles lay on his back, on Bubbie's tongue, with his hands behind his head, unable to sleep. Not a few minutes before, he'd stuck his head up, through the whale's blow hole, and, judging by the seagulls that were gathering up on the docks, plus his sailor's intuition, he figured it wouldn't be long 'til sun-up. He'd been up all night, bar a couple of random half hours of drifting off, but over all, he'd spent the whole of the night, awake, listening to Flapjack's snotty little nose whistling away, with every breath he took, while he slept. He sighed.

Being awake at this time was so… Boring.

He rolled onto his side, back to the boy, one wooden hand supporting his head as he tried to daydream about something interesting, to keep him entertained. He wove stories, in his head, about his adventures, exaggerating everything, so a trip to the Barber Shop soon became a death defying battle with the heinous King of Scissors. He smirked to himself, looking quite pleased with the idea. Eventually, he grew tired of imagining himself bravely beating people up, who stood in the way of his adventuring, and his mind drifted to other things.

What was he going to do that day?

He stared at the roof of Bubbie's mouth, blinking a couple of times…

Nothing. He'd just catch up on the sleep he hadn't had, the night before.

Oh, no, wait, wait, if he didn't get up, he wouldn't be able to mess with Ms. Custard. He smiled to himself, tapping his fingers cunningly together. He really did love having her at his beckon-call. Not only did he have access to any candy he wanted (without paying for it with a night in the slammer), or anything he wanted, really, sticking around with the miserable young lady was pretty kind to the eyes. A proper beauty, she was. He snorted, briefly, his mind slipping into the gutter as he pondered what _other_ things he might be able to blackmail her into doing… He rolled onto his back, again, smiling slightly, with a shake of his head. No, he wasn't ever going to do something like _that_ to her. Unless, of course, she was begging for it.

He rolled over to face the boy, wondering how easy it would be to bring himself to kill him… No, he couldn't _ever_ do that. Flapjack was important to him and he wouldn't be able to live with the guilt… He wondered what it would be like to kill someone like Peppermint Larry, or Slippery Pete… Even then, he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to do it, not even if it was in aid of a special cause.

Despite everything he'd said about not being afraid to do anything, he knew, for a fact, that he could never kill a man. Or woman. He frowned.

So, how could Rhubarb bring herself to kill people? Dainty thing, like her, he was amazed she could even lift a knife, to stab someone, or a candle stand, to whack around someone's head. Unless she did it the way all classy people did; innocently putting a few drops of poison into their tea or food… But then, she sure did pack a punch…

He'd ask her, later, he decided.

It was as the sun began to rise that the Captain finally managed to drift off, thoughts of candy and blood-spattered walls in his mind. He guessed the bloodshed was worth the candy, especially as it wasn't on his head.

"Hey, Cap'nnn…" it seemed that Flapjack had re-awoken him within seconds of him closing his eyes. K'nuckles grumbled, turning onto his side, away from the boy.

"Go back t'sleep, boy, it's only sun-up."

"Nuh-uh. It's eleven o'clock, Cap'n! It's time for ADVENTURE!" the little boy insisted, setting his hands on the Captain's back and rocking him back and forth, on his side. He giggled, shielding his face, as K'nuckles blindly swatted at him with his hands "C'MON, K'nuckles."

"Boy, be QUIET."

"But I'm BOOOORED!" the cabin-boy whined. His captain simply covered his ears "C'mon, Captain, don't you wanna go out and have fun?"

"No."

"Pleeeeease?"

"No."

"Why noooot?"

K'nuckles rolled over, grabbing the boy by his face, with one hand, squeezing his cheeks together, 'til his lips puckered.

"Because, boy," he growled through gritted teeth "I'm. Tirrrred."

Flapjack's face drooped, miserably as the Captain released him, and rolled over again, back to him. He sighed, looking up at the roof of Bubbie's mouth. He then sighed again, a lot louder, as though to emphasize his disappointment.

"What's wrong, Baby…?" sounded the whales voice.

"K'nuckles is still sleeping," he replied, sulkily, hanging his head "What am I supposed to do, now?"

"Well, sugar, why don't you go to school, or something. Then you can come home and tell me everything you've learnt."

Flapjack's face brightened "And then I'll be less of a dummy!"

"You aren't a dummy, anyway, shug."

The little boy giggled, modestly, pawing at his face with his hands "Thanks, Bubbie. I love you."

"Love you, too, Baby," she cooed, as he then climbed up towards her blowhole, and pushed his way up into the late-morning air, sitting on his backside and sliding down off her head, hopping onto the dock "Be careful, OK?"

"I will. Bye!"

And with that, Flapjack sped off, up the stairs, smoothing his fingers through his hair, to make sure it was especially neat for school. Running along, though, he came to a sudden halt as something glinting in the sun caught his eye. Stopping in his tracks, and taking a sharp turn towards it, upon closer inspection, Flapjack found that the spark of light was the result of the sun reflecting off a couple of gold coins, left unattended and forgotten, on the wooden ground. The little boy broke into a wide, wide grin, instantaneously scooping them up off the floor and making a mad sprint towards the Candy Barrel.

A short detour couldn't hurt, could it?

He danced through the swing doors, into the bar and up to the counter, scrabbling up onto a stool and setting the coins on the wooden finish, in front of the bartender "One Candy Mandy, please?"

"I see you have some money today, Flapjack."

"Yessiree."

As Peppermint Larry turned from the bar, and went about preparing the cabin-boy's candy, Flapjack looked about the bar, with a wide smile, tapping an off-beat rhythm on the counter. He looked to a group of sailors, dressed in blue stripy shirts, with red, cloth chains around their necks, who murmured to each other, the same way three old lady's would, about the world around them.

"Hey, you seen those posters up, about Muttonfluffer and The Professor?"

"Yeah. My best guess is they're travelling."

"Naw, naw, they've been done in, I bet ya anything."

"Wow…" the first one breathed. He then paused, looking from one sailor, to the other "Say… You two ever… Y'know… Done anyone in before?"

"What? No!"

"I couldn't possibly!"

"Yeah… me neither," he agreed, shuddering "Just… What sicko would be able to do that a man?"

"Or woman?"

"Rhubarb's killed someone," Flapjack piped up, with a naïve little smile. The sailors looked at one another, then back at the little boy.

"… Who?"

"Rhubarb. The one who's always in here."

"Oh, the Boiled Sweet!" cried one sailor, elbowing one of the others in the stomach, who wolf whistled, grinning from ear to ear. Flapjack was about to explain how he knew, and what he knew, not out of spite, he simply… Felt a bit left out of the conversation. But before he could say anything, the sailors went on to talk about Rhubarb, then about other women, and what parts they liked and didn't like. A subject the little boy had no interest in what so ever.

He didn't really get adults.

* * *

"K'nuckles, get up, you're starting to taste funny."

K'nuckles groaned, still sprawled on Bubbie's tongue a couple of hours later, snoring away. He grunted and snorted, but didn't move. The whale frowned, before flapping her tongue about, inside her mouth, but the Captain wouldn't budge, clinging to it and cursing. She huffed.

"K'nuckles," she began, in a threateningly low voice "I'm gonna give you to the count of three… One… Two…"

The Captain immediately sprang from her mouth as she made a loud, unpleasant snorting noise in the very depths of her throat. He flopped onto the dock, thrashing in despair "No! No, no! Not again! I'm up, I'm up!"

"Well, good," Bubbie smirked, crossing her arms "Y'know, hinges, you' lucky you have legs to walk around on, at all. So why you laze about all day, I have no idea."

"… I'm lazy. Therefore, I laze."

"Humph."

K'nuckles simply grinned, then tipped his hat "Well, not to say you're boring but… you're boring me. I'm goin' out. Don't wait up."

"Don't worry. I won't."

Now, what was a sailor to do, in a town, all on his own? He had no money, and no company, so he couldn't fill his stomach and he couldn't cause havoc. Well, he _could_ but it wouldn't have been as fun, without his cabin-boy's trade-mark laugh. He "ummed" and "urred" as he reached the top of the stairs, looking about, before spotting a bench, outside Dr. Barber's office. Why not take a seat? He'd probably get a better idea of what he was actually going to _do_ that day, if he wasn't plodding about, aimlessly, but actually focused.

Needless to say, he was asleep within five minutes of sitting down. So, as he sat with his head back, and his mouth hanging open, snoring away, he didn't hear the brief conversation between Dr. Barber and Ms. Custard, as she stepped out of his surgery.

"Well, thank you, for your assistance, today, Ms. Rhubarb. You're getting better, each time you come in."

"Ah, well, tengky, Boss. I'll see you in a day or saw, mebbe. Afternoon."

The Doctor shut the door, and Rhubarb rubbed at the dried blood on her sleeves, before looking at K'nuckles slumped on the bench, snores rumbling like thunder. She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, with a shake of her head.

"Afternoon, Captain!" she called, to him. He didn't stir, simply grunted a little, and fidgeted "… Captain!"

Still nothing. She frowned, and then licked her hand, before slapping him across the face. He spluttered and yelped, flapping his arms around as he fell from his seat, to the floor, with a heavy thud. He stared, dazed, at nothing, before rolling onto his back, and looking up at her. He glared.

"Hellaw."

"Don't do that," he grumbled, heaving himself to his feet, and dusting himself off and readjusting his hat. He looked to the sleeves of her blouse, flecked with small droplets of blood "… Again?"

She followed his gaze, and then shrugged a shoulder, sheepishly "Well… Y'knaw, I need to keep up mi practise."

He shook his head incredulously "Someone's gonna find out, one day, y'know."

"Yeah, yeah. I just dawn't want anyone to knaw NOW. Nuttin's set in stawne, y'knaw?"

He didn't know. That last part didn't make much sense, but he didn't think anything on it. Rhubarb was weird, with her weird little sayings and head movements and how sometimes she sounded more British than… where-ever-she-was-from-ian. Only sometimes, though. He shrugged his shoulders, then stuffed his hands in his pockets, cocking his head in the direction he was about to walk, and then heading off down the dock, the young woman in tow.

"So, Rhubie, what was it today?"

"Tonsillectomy."

What did that mean?

He blinked at her a couple of times "… Sounds painful."

"Surgery makes ebbyt'ing sound painful, Captain."

"Yeah… Surgery…" is that what she was calling it, now? He looked at her, as she walked along, with her hands behind her back, and her nose turned slightly upward, toward the sky. He tilted his head "So, Rhubie, you're probably pretty experienced, now, huh?"

"I'm gettin' on awright."

"So…" he stopped, turning to face her. She came to a halt, looking at him with her head cocked to the side "… What would you say is the best way to kill someone? Y'know, without getting caught."

"Internal bleeding," she replied, simply "Dat way, naw one knaw it wuh you."

"Internal bleeding, huh?" he couldn't believe he was having this conversation.

"Yeah," she began, pushing her hair out of her face. K'nuckles suddenly flinched backwards as Rhubarb then threw three sharp punches at his stomach, never touching him, though, every time only a centimetre from collision "A good few punches to someone's gut, before dey hab time to tense dere muscles, you rupture dee appendix. And, because it's internal, naw one knaw about it, 'til it too late."

He swallowed. She was certainly in the know, that was for sure "… Wow… Um… That's pretty scary, Rhubarb..."

She gave a short nod, then continued walking "C'mon, I'm cravin' sour apples."

Any trace of Flapjack had disappeared from the Candy Barrel, when the two of them entered the bar, and the tavern was pretty quiet, as it always was in the early afternoon. Things would only get busy when the sun began to set. They hopped up onto two stools, and Rhubarb knocked on the counter, with a balled fist.

"Larry. Two o' dee usual, please."

"Sure thing, Ms. Rhubarb."

"She prefers bein' called Rhubie, Larry," K'nuckles piped up. She socked him in the arm.

"Naw, I dawn't. Ignore him."

Larry smirked a little as the Captain miserably rubbed his arm, and then went about filling to glasses to the brim with candy. He set them on the counter, and Rhubarb swapped four gold coins with him, before taking a gulp of her candy. She shuddered. K'nuckles grinned at her "Aw, lookit you."

"What?"

"You're a proper addict, huh?"

"Dis or snuff, Captain."

"Snuff, huh?" K'nuckles took the glass in his hand and took a gulp. He shuddered, too "You did snuff?"

"Furra while," she replied, running her finger around the rim of her glass, before taking a second gulp "But den I started on candy. It'll rot mi teef, and I'm not as slight as I used to be, but it better dan slawly killin' miself, I s'pawse."

"Ah, well, I like 'em curvy, anyway."

"Yeah, saw, I'm gawin' back ontuh snuff, yeah?"

K'nuckles laughed, elbowing her, and she smiled slightly at him, before turning her head away, almost bashfully twiddling one of her braids in her fingers. He didn't pay much attention, taking another gulp.

"Oh, I've missed one of the candles…" Larry whined, putting his hands on his hips, cocking his head forwards in the direction in one of the overhead lamps, that hung from the ceiling, empty of a fresh candle. He turned, rummaging around.

"Eh, want me to sort it?" Rhubarb asked, setting her head in her hand, holding out her other hand to him, for the candle.

"Oh, thanks, Ms. Rhubarb, that would be awful helpful."

The young lady then rose to her feet, with the candle in hand, and shooed the couple of sailors from the table below the lamp, pushing herself up onto it, and reaching towards the lamp. She wobbled, the table a bit unstable.

K'nuckles looked at her, for a moment, and then looked at the missing posters, that were hung up behind Larry's counter.

"… Say, Larry…?"

"Bloody t'ing keep' wobblin'…"

"What is it, K'nuckles?"

"Uh… What do you think'd be the punishment, for a murderer, around these parts?" he asked, quietly, so Rhubarb wouldn't hear, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You been on a killing spree, Captain?"

"No, no, I'm just curious. In all the years I've been here, I've never known anyone get caught for murder."

"Ah well… The gallows, I guess."

K'nuckles choked on the candy, in his throat, at the bartender's response.

"Th-the gallows?"

"I'd say so. That's how they do it everywhere else. Wrap a rope around their neck, and throw them off a building, or drop 'em through wooden decking."

There was a loud thud as the table beneath Rhubarb's feet toppled over, and the young lady gripped the lamp, her feet dangling below her. But when K'nuckles turned around, all he could see, in his minds eyes, was her hanging from a noose, with a broken neck and still, dead face. He cried out, scrabbling from his stool, and grabbing her legs "Awright, awright, I got ya, c'mon."

She let go of the lamp and with K'nuckles arms wrapped tightly around her thighs, he carefully put her down on the ground, before grabbing her face and checking for light in her eyes, rather than the dull, dead gleam he had just imagined "You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, get off," she pushed him away, rubbing her cheek, where one of his fingers had caught her a bit sharp "Watch what you doin' widdose claws o' yours."

He bit his lip, her feet dangling and her dead face burned into his skull.

"… Rhubie, I gotta talk to you, c'mon," he then grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the bar.

"But my candy-"

"Forget it," he snapped, dragging her along and then pushing her behind a few crates, he looked about, and then ducked down, taking her shoulders, and shaking her "Rhubie, you gotta stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Y'know… What you're doin'! You're gonna get yourself into trouble. People are gonna notice, eventually."

She ripped his hands from her and shoved him "Naw one gunna find out, unless I tell dem. And you aren't gonna tell anyone, got it?!"

"I can't believe you actually think I WOULD!"

"Well, you been ravin' about it, for days!"

"It's what I do! I'm a pirate, I trick people, get over it!" he snapped. He took her shoulders, again, softening his voice, and pulling her a little closer "I'm not a snitch, Rhubie. And I'm not gonna let you go to the gallows."

"… Dee… Gallaws…?" he nodded. She frowned "Why would I go to dee gallaws fuh nurs-"

"C'mon, it's this way!"

"What, another one?"

Rhubarb was interrupted by two men clumping by, loudly talking about a third missing poster, that had been put up, around the corner. K'nuckles watched them round the corner, and then turned to look at the young lady who blinked after them, with an uncaring face. He frowned.

"C'mon, you," he mumbled, grabbing her wrist, and pulling her after them "Lets see what you've done, this time."

She looked beyond confused as he yanked her along, her shoulder starting to ache, but said nothing. Hopefully things would explain themselves, seeing as K'nuckles seemed incapable of doing so.

"See, like I told you, there's another one," the sailor pointed into the crowd of people, before them, who swarmed about a third missing poster, reporting the disappearance of Lolly Poopdeck, buzzing with murmured gossip. K'nuckles, stood at the back with his hand still gripping Rhubarb's wrist, looked at the young woman, his mouth hanging open.

"… You got Lolly…?"

"I got… What are you talkin' about…?"

"It's murder! I bet you anything, it's murder," called out a random voice from the crowd.

"Yeah, but who' done it? Who's mad enough to kill someone like Lolly?!"

I think you all recall the sailors from the Candy Barrel, yes? One of the three, Thomas, looked at the poster, from amidst the crowd and then frowned, slightly.

"… The Boiled Sweet," he breathed, then looked to his friends "Ms. Custard, it all makes sense! That Flapjack kid, he said she's killed someone. And now we know WHO!"

"Thomas, that's a very serious accusation."

"Perhaps, but doesn't it make sense to you?!" he cried. He pushed his way to the front of the crowd, heaving himself up onto a crate "It makes perfect sense to me! Ladies and Gentlemen, it's clear to see who is behind these disappearances. The shiftiest character in Stormalong; and we know from a close source that she's a killer, and now, I ask all of you to raise your hand if you've ever spoken to the Boiled Sweet of the Candy Barrel!"

There was a small murmur amongst the crowd, but nobody raised their hand. Rhubarb's face was rapidly paling, as K'nuckles slipped his fingers from around her wrist and into her hand, gripping it tightly.

"That's right, nobody! It's like she's got something to hide, don't you think?" Thomas cried out to the crowd. They roared in agreement, and punched at the air.

The young woman shrank backwards "… K'nuckles… What's happening…?"

He gripped her hand, tighter still "Rhubarb… Run."

He let go.

"Why so secretive, Ms. Custard?!" the sailor roared, pointing across the crowd, and all heads swivelled to look at her. She stood, frozen to the spot.

"Rhubie, run," K'nuckles hissed, but she made no movement, petrified as the crowd slowly began to advance.

"It's her."

"She did it."

"Grab her! Grab her now!"

"RUN, you stupid girl, just RUN!" K'nuckles cried out, giving her a hard shove, and Rhubarb let out a small cry, almost as though she was about to burst into tears, before speeding off down the dock, the mob of people in tow, calling out how they were going to get her, how she couldn't run from the law.

And how the gallows were awaiting her neck.


	6. Five

Five.

"There she goes!"

"Don't let her get away!"

It was safe to say that Rhubarb certainly looked the part of a murderer, as ten or so, most likely drunk, sailors thundered after her, about the streets of Stormalong. Her hair was fraying messily from her braids and her forehead was licked with sweat, eyes red and watery from loss of breath. She looked like a madwoman, and the blood on her sleeves wasn't much helping her cause.

She'd been running, non-stop, for half an hour, now, and she felt like her legs were just going to give up on her completely and expel themselves from her body, lying in a heap on the floor and telling the army of sailors which way the young woman had gone. How much more could she possibly take? She rounded a corner into an alley, pausing to catch her breath, hoping maybe, just maybe, she'd lost them.

"She went up there!"

"D'ah, crabs," she hissed, starting at a second run, up the alley, heaving herself tiredly up a rickety, old ladder onto the top of a building. Good thing about Stormalong was that the buildings were built conveniently close together, which came in handy as she pegged it across the roof tops, the mob lessening behind her, now only consisting of the more energetic members. Which, obviously, made things considerably more difficult for her. She'd never been a very fast runner. She was lucky she was sly enough to periodically throw them off, for a couple of seconds at the very least, other wise, she would have been dead minutes ago. They were getting to close. She looked over her shoulder, gasping for breath as she thundered across the rooftops, but with her eyes behind her, paying no mind to where she put her feet, Rhubarb soon found herself tripping, sending her sliding down the slant of the roof. She let out a scream, latching onto the drainpipe lining the top of the house, now between the devil and the deep blue sea. Or, rather, a ten foot drop and a mob of angry sailors. She whimpered, as they drew closer, and then let go.

In one short moment, Rhubarb fell from the roof and landed square on her back, winding her of any air in her lungs. She wheezed, heaving herself painfully into a sitting position, as the sailors looked down at her.

"Don't let her get away!"

"I'm not going the way she went, that looked painful!"

"C'mon, there's a ladder!"

She whined in her throat. She didn't want to do anymore running. She slowly shifted onto her knees, a sharp pain shooting from her wrist as pushed herself unsteadily to her feet. Sprained. She'd fix that later. Right now, she had to get away.

She went on running, no sense of direction. Who could she possibly go to, anyway? Even if she did throw them off, what was she supposed to do, then? She decided it wasn't really important as the sailors stumbled down the ladder, and took after her, again. She was considerably slower, now, her ribs and arms wracked with pain. She couldn't keep running like this, she'd get her self killed. She wheezed for breath as she drew closer to the end of the docks.

"What's she doing?"

"She's gonna jump in!"

"What?! Women can't swim!"

She reached the peek, and threw herself head first into the sea.

And even after five minutes had passed, she didn't resurface.

"She's dead. Like I said; Women can't swim."

* * *

"Where is she? Where's Rhubarb?"

"I don't know, sir, I haven't seen her since this morning. Is she expecting you?"

K'nuckles was beginning to get impatient with the house-maid of Rhubarb's home. She never seemed to know much of anything about the young woman's whereabouts, but the situation was worse, knowing that Rhubarb was being hunted down for murder. And if they caught her, they'd kill her.

The image he'd conjured up, in the Candy Barrel, of her hanging dead from a rope, with a broken neck and no light in her eyes, flashed before his mind's eye for the umpteenth time. He bought a hand to his face, dragging it down his features, in worry. Flapjack, stood beside him on the doorstep, looked up at him, concerned, before tugging at the bottom of his coat.

"Don't worry, Cap'n. Everyone here's real nice. They'll take care of her," he said, smiling up at the Captain, reassuringly. K'nuckles looked back at him with unconvinced eyes, before heaving a deep, miserable sigh.

"Uh, Ma'am, we'll check back, later, or tomorrow, alright?"

"Sir…" he and Flapjack paused in turning from the door as Mrs. Podding piped up "What's going on, exactly?"

"Rhubarb's in a lot o' danger, ma'am. She might even be dead, by now."

Mrs. Podding looked as though she'd seen a ghost, for a moment, before her heart steadied in her chest. She smirked a little "Somehow I don't think she is. If I'm not mistaken, that dripping lump hobbling towards us bares quite the resemblance to her, would you not agree?"

Sure enough, as K'nuckles turned his head to look in the direction the house-maid then pointed, there was Rhubarb, looking dead on her feet, completely soaked through and holding her wrist, protectively, as though she'd hurt it. She slumped miserably up the path, towards her front door, stopping briefly to nod her head at the Captain, before squeezing past the house-maid.

"I'll get you a towel, love."

Rhubarb only groaned, plodding up the stairs. She paused, half way, however, looking back towards the front door at the Sailor and his Cabin-Boy.

"You two want to kill me?"

They shook their heads.

"C'mon, den. S'pawse you best come in. Mrs. Poddin', shaw dese two tuh dee sittin' room, I'll be down in a minute."

"Yes, Miss."

Considering Rhubarb's usually dull and sulky demeanour, the gloom of her house didn't come as much of a surprise to the Captain, as he and Flapjack were lead through the murky, unpainted walls of the foyer, into the sitting room, or whatever the young lady had called it, where the walls were a washed-out grey, mixed in with a hint of cold blue. The floorboards, smooth and well varnished, were a dark brown, almost black, covered over with a decorative rug, with confusing patterns woven into it. Mrs. Podding gestured to the sofa, a worn green, faded with age, for the two of them to take a seat. They looked at one another, briefly, and then hopped into place, watching as the house-maid bowed her head and then made her way into the next room. There was a scrape of a chair and then a low voice spoke "Got any threes?"

She replied with a "Go fish."

K'nuckles snorted "Rhubarb's obviously got some hard-workin' staff here, huh, Flap?"

Flapjack grinned "Well, working's for lubbers, right, Cap'n."

"Right, boy," he laughed rubbing his head. He looked about the room "Quite a house, huh? Not very big, but bigger than any house I've lived in, that's for sure."

"Nah, I think Bubbie's bigger."

"I'll tell her you said that."

"No, Cap'n, that's mean!" Flapjack cried, unhappily, smacking at his arm "You'll make her sad, if you tell her I said that!"

K'nuckles only smacked at his arms in turn, the both of them laughing away, 'til they were interrupted by someone suddenly clearing their throat. Rhubarb was stood in the door way, looking as sour and miserable as ever, her hair long and heavy with water as she leant against the door frame in one of those dresses she sometimes wore. K'nuckles smirked at her, wolf-whistling.

"Lookin' good, Rhubie."

She shot him a steely glare, holding her wrist as she swaggered across the room to a gothic-style chest of drawers, pulling open the first drawer and rummaging around for a moment "Why are you two here?"

"Captain K'nuckles was worried about you," Flapjack replied, simply, beaming over at her. She made no reaction, but never the less, K'nuckles smacked him up the back of his head, chewing into his lip, embarrassed.

"I wasn't _worried_, Flap. Ignore him, he's full o' salt water. I just, y'know, was curious," he excused, awkwardly, keeping his eyes on the young lady. She still made no reaction, as she continued to burrow into the drawer "… You're uh… They didn't hurt ya, did they?"

"Naw. But I fell off a roof and sprained mi wrist," she mumbled, pulling a sheet of cloth from the drawer. She pushed it shut with her hip, before returning to the sofa. K'nuckles frowned a little, before picking Flapjack up and sitting in his place, beside her, sitting the boy down the other side of him, leaving him to pout. Again, she made no reaction, simply laid the cloth out in her lap, and wrest her wrist over it. She picked the two edges up, and put her head through the gap, making a sling "Can you tie these, please?"

K'nuckles nodded a couple of times, before tying a knot in the sling. She gave it a tug, and when it stayed put, she bowed her, a little "Tengky…"

"No problem," he replied, patting her knee, before looking at her wrist "… You fell of a roof, huh? How long were you running for?"

"Bloody ages," she wheezed in dismay, pushing her hair out of her face "Dey chase' me all about Stormalong, awvah fences, under fences, behind buildings, awvah rooftops. I lost 'em by divin' intuh dee sea. 'Ey didn't come after me; 'ey dawn't t'ink women can swim."

"Well, they can't."

"Den 'ow am I heeuh?"

"… True."

She heaved a deep sigh "What am I gunna do? I can't gaw out, anywhere. It was a miracle I made it back heeuh, widdout gettin' caught…"

K'nuckles looked at her for a moment, with a furrowed brow and a sadder face then he'd later dare to admit, before reaching out a softly touching her shoulder. She flinched away "Rhubie… Look, kiddo, I hate to say it but… I think the only thing you can do now is, y'know… Skip town."

She seemed to consider it for a moment, and then sharply shook her head with an adamant "Impossible. I can't just leabe town because people t'ink I'mma mur-drah. Naw, we'll habta proob me innocent, or somet'in'."

"Rhubie-"

"Rhubarb."

"You and I both know that's not gonna happen, doll," he said sadly, trying to touch her shoulder again. She flinched away a second time, smacking his hand. He twisted his mouth, face stained with pity "… You look awful."

"Thanks," she grumbled, a steely glare in her gaze. He was only telling the truth. Her hair still soaked, she resembled a drowned rat, in a dress, with grazes about her hands and arms, and she had a nasty looking bruise on her chin.

"You look tired, too…" he observed, quietly, as though speaking to himself. She made no reply, simply leaned back with her head tilted up towards the ceiling, before looking to the windows. She then rose to her feet and circled the room, shutting the curtains, as she went. She then shut the door.

"… What I dawn't understand is _why_ dey t'ink I'mma mur-drah… I mean, where would dey eben get dee idea?"

She sat back down.

"Oh…" the two of them simultaneously leaned forward to look at Flapjack as his voice broke the brief silence. He looked back at them with a sheepish smile "I think that's kinda… My fault… These sailor guys were talking about how they could never kill anybody a-a-and I felt left out and I've never killed anybody so I… I-I told them that Rhubarb had…"

There was a pause, before Rhubarb dove into K'nuckles' lap and grabbed Flapjack by his arms, pulling him toward her, so she could stare, eyes ablaze, into his face "WHY'D YOU TELL 'EM 'AT?!"

"I'm SORRY!" the little boy wailed, quaking in her grasp as her hands moved up to his shoulders to shake him. K'nuckles didn't like this, and grabbed Rhubarb's wrists and yanked her off of him, pushing her back to the other end of the sofa, and holding Flapjack protectively against him, who clung back, on the brink of tears "I-I didn't mean to get you in trouble!"

"If da's dee case, den why spread lies about me, bwoi?!" Rhubarb shrieked, going to lash out at the boy with that hand that wasn't shooting with pain. K'nuckles pushed her again.

"I wasn't lying! K'nuckles said you were a murderer! I only said what HE told me!"

What followed would have been best documented in slow motion, because, before one could even blink, Flapjack had leapt from K'nuckles' grasp and Rhubarb had thrown herself toward him, arm out stretched, to grab the pirate-captain by the front of his shirt, and pushed him backwards, repeatedly pulling him up and then slamming him back down against the upholstery, sitting on his stomach "YOU'VE been spreadin' lies?!"

"Wh-what, wait, s-so you're not a murderer?!" K'nuckles cried, between being shook, struggling and squirming underneath her. She pushed him down again, holding him still, leaning down, their noses almost touching.

"Naw. I'm. Not," she growled, shaking with rage.

"B-but what about all those people going missing?!"

"I dawn't KNAW about dem, K'nuckles!"

"A-and the blood on your dress?! And earlier, when I asked you how to go about killing somebody, and you told me about the ruptured appendix! And the Tonsiloctopus! You know your stuff, how could you not be a murderer?!"

"K'NUCKLES! I'm not a murderer, I'm trainin' to be a NURSE!"

He stared up at her "… What?"

"I'm trainin' to be a nurse! I been working wid Dr. Barber, helpin' out wid his surgery! A tonsill_ectomy_ is when you hab ye' tonsils removed for MEDICAL reasons!" she screamed "Dee blood was from surgery, and dee ruptured appendix?! I NEED to knaw dis stuff, in case I havta do an AUTOPSY!"

"S-so you're really not a murderer?"

"NAW!"

"… Oops."

"OOPS?!" as Rhubarb, ignoring her wrist, smacked and clawed and bit into the Captain, doing anything she could to make him cry out in pain, Flapjack looked upon them with unfazed eyes, before making his way to the window, poking his head through the gap in the curtains, to look upon the world outside, the sky pink from the setting sun. He rest his head in his hands, letting out a dreamy sigh, before his mouth fell in an "O" shape. Floating across the sky was the silhouette of what was, undeniably, the Professor's Grand Flying Contraption "I MAY NOT BE A MUR-DRAH, NOW, BUT I WILL BE, ONCE I'M T'ROUGH WID YOU!"

"Guys!" Flapjack cried out, happily, running over and smacking at Rhubarb's back, narrowly dodging her fist as it flew out at him in response "Guys, the Professor's flying machine! He's back!"

The young lady paused, in the midst of beating on the Captain, to blink at the boy "… Who?"

She was quickly shoved off, falling onto the floor with a painful thud as K'nuckles sat up and pawed protectively at his nose, before looking at the boy "The Professor? You mean the weird one, who liked Bubbie?"

"The very same," Flapjack replied, with his hands on his hips. Rhubarb looked at him, confused.

"Saw?"

The boy cocked his head to the side at her "Well, he's one of the people who went missing. Which means you're innocent."

"I like how I nebber eben heard o' dee people I' murdered…"

"But wait, there's the other two. She's not off the hook, yet," K'nuckles said, frowning, as Rhubarb heaved herself back onto the sofa, beside him. Flapjack leant on his knees, grinning.

"Well, then, we just go find them!"

"Uh, who's we? In case you two habbn't nawticed, I'm basically a fugitive. If people see me, I'm a dead man."

"Woman."

"Whatever."

K'nuckles took off his hat, to scratch his head and then paused, looking at the young woman as she pawed at her wrist. She let out a yelp, suddenly struggling as he then, in one swift movement, scooped up her mass of hair, in one hand and gathered it up on the top of her head, before pushing his hat down over it. He frowned, looking at her with his head tilted to the side and then readjusted it. Then, one painful fumble later, Rhubarb found herself in the Captain's coat, with her sling back into place. She blinked a couple of times at him.

"… Why?"

"Well, you can't go out, and look for those two guys but uh… I'm sure Reuben can."

"Pardon?"

Half an hour or so, later, after digging around Rhubarb's attic for any old, baggy clothes, such as a shirt, and trousers, that would assist in a disguise, K'nuckles and Flapjack were back on the streets, in search of the two missing "victims", with a young man skulking behind them, dressed in an over-sized coat and hat, which shadowed his eyes. On closer inspection, this young man, was, as you might have guessed, a very agitated looking Rhubarb.

"I'm cold."

"Button up my coat, then," K'nuckles replied, simply, looking up an alley. He lifted up the lids of crates, and barrels. Nothing. Rhubarb huffed.

"This coat smells, though."

"What? What of?" he frowned.

"I dunno. Sea salt. Dirt. K'nuckles."

"Those are my favourite smells!" Flapjack cut-in, swinging his arms, and grinning "Especially the last one."

K'nuckles looked at the boy with a quirk of his eyebrow and then turned to face the young lady, arms crossed "How can you be cold? You're the one all wrapped up nice and warm. I'm only wearin' a shirt!"

"And bloomers, apparently. I nebber saw you as a cross-dresser, Captain."

He blushed the deepest red, spluttering "I-I'm not! It's just… They're just… The only thing that fit… That I can afford, anyway…"

Rhubarb made no further comment. She could knock on him, for being both over-weight and poor, but she didn't really see the point. She sighed, walking ahead "C'mon, lets just find mi victims, 'fore someone nawtices me."

"Wait, wait," K'nuckles grabbed her wrist, and pulled her backward into the alley, pushing her down, so she was sat on a crate. He scratched his chin "… Flap, what was the reason everyone thought you were a girl."

Flapjack shone pink in his cheeks, awkwardly twiddling his fingers, with his face turned to the floor "Um… It was my voice, Cap'n,"

"Oh yeah, I remember. Rhubie, fix your voice."

"Wha'?"

"It sounds like someone's kneed you in the nuts, doll. You need to talk lower."

She blinked at him, a couple of times, before clearing her throat, speaking with a considerably lower voice "You mean like dis?"

"Uh… Yeah, but knock off that stupid accent."

"PARDON?!" Rhubarb shrieked, smacking him in the nose, making him instinctively paw at it, staring at her like a beaten dog "Dere nuttin' wrong wid my accent!"

"Yeah, but you're the only one who talks like that. So knock it off."

"Why can't I just not-talk?"

K'nuckles snorted "Well, you keep complaining. In fact, you only ever open that trap o' yours to complain about something… Pfft, I bet you can't keep your mouth shut, 'til you're off the hook."

Rhubarb crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes and twisting her mouth unhappily, but said nothing. The Captain stared at her, for a moment with half a smirk on his face, as though challenging her to speak. She didn't however, only pushed passed him and flounced off down the dock. He smirked, with a roll of his eyes.

He elbowed his cabin-boy in the ribs "Women, eh, Flap?"

"I thought she was supposed to be a man, now…"

"She's just posing as one, kiddo," he replied, distantly, watching her make her way, further away from them, with a stuck-up little swing her hips. It was when he noticed his eyes were stuck to her backside that he actually realised she was doing a very bad job at being a guy "Pathetically. Rhubie, stop walkin' like that!"

"Like what?!" she snapped.

"Ha! I win! I told you, you couldn't keep your mouth shut!"

"Naw fair!"

"Knock off the accent, too!"

"NAW!"

"H-hey, guys… Look…"

K'nuckles stopped, to look at Flapjack as he stood dead in his tracks, pointing to a poster, that had been nailed into a fence, alerting the world to, what the people believed, was the slimiest, murderous toad in Stormalong.

"Flap… What's it say?"

"Rhubarb N. Custard!" he called, to Rhubarb, who was still huffing off down the docks. She froze "Wanted; Dead, or alive. Reward; Ten Thousand Gold Coins."

K'nuckles blinked, before shoving Flapjack out of the way, as the convict drew closer to them, and pushing his nose up against the poster, to get a closer look "A reward, y'say?"

The was a loud, enraged scream, and the Captain soon found himself square on his back, all the oxygen knocked out of his lungs, with Rhubarb sat on top of him, smacking his face from left to right, screaming unintelligible curse words, and death threats, at him.

"Dawn't you DARE tell ANYONE you knaw where I am!" she threatened him, grabbing the lapels of his coat and slamming his head painfully against the wooden docks "You can't DO dat tuh me, I'm INNOCENT!"

"Rhubie, the hat, where's my hat?!"

"I've got it!" Flapjack called, making his way towards the hat that had just flown from her head, and was now sat on the dock, waiting for the perfect moment, before being swept up in the tide's breeze, and blowing away, out of his reach. Flapjack let out a frustrated cry, taking after it, Rhubarb heaving K'nuckles back to his feet, dragging him after the boy, by his wrist, the both of them crying "Get it, Flap, get it, get it, get it," but every time he'd make a grab for it, it would simply be blown further and further away. It was caught, however, as he made a last grab for it. Not by him, though.

By the Constable.

"Easy, there, youngster," he said, smiling, popping the hat onto the cabin-boys head "I'd hang onto that, a bit tighter, with these winds."

"Heh… Yeah…" Flapjack replied, awkwardly, as the officer smiled down at him. He then lifted his eyes to Rhubarb and K'nuckles, who were stood frozen in mid-run, after taking after the boy and the hat, as well. In one swift movement, K'nuckles scooped Rhubarb up in his arms and pulled her against him, squashing her face into his shoulder.

"Afternoon, Constable," he greeted, innocently, quickly stroking Rhubarb's hair. The Constable stepped forward, eyes narrowed, and K'nuckles swallowed, loudly, tightening his grip. The young lady was shaking.

There was a still silence, before the policemen finally grinned, clapping the Captain's back "Why, Mr. K'nuckles. I didn't know you had a GIRLFRIEND!"

"Wha'…?" was his only response, still holding onto Rhubarb, for the sake of hiding her face. He looked down at the great mass of curly hair, which concealed any hint of human life, before looking back at the constable "Uh… Yeah… Yeah, yeah, this is my girlfriend… Just givin' her a uh… Good bit o' lovin'."

"Pah, you old softie," the other man hooted, punching his arm. K'nuckles grinned sheepishly, ignoring Rhubarb as she grumbled "You wish," into his shoulder and tightened her grip around his waist "Mind showing her me?"

She whimpered, and the Captain quickly shook his head "Uh, she's real shy, Constable."

"Aw, well, there's no need to be shy o' me, sweet'eart. I don't bite," he cooed, setting a hand on Rhubarb's shoulder. She let out a second whine, and K'nuckles chewed into his lip.

"Uh, she's got, like uh… Acrophobia."

"… She's afraid of heights?"

"Uh… Yeah?"

"Well, why should that make any difference? C'mon, let's just see that pretty face."

"Pretty? Uh, no, no she's hideous, you don't wanna see this fa-OW!" K'nuckles let out a yelp as Rhubarb bit down into his shoulder. He pinched her arm, as punishment, receiving a painful fist thumped into his chest.

"Oh? Funny, I always thought you to be quite shallow," observed the Constable. The Captain spluttered. Shallow?!

"Shallow?!" he cried, indignantly "I'm not shallow, look at this face!"

"K'nuckles daw-"

Before Rhubarb could even get her words out, the Captain pried her from him, grabbing her face in both hands and showing the officer "See?! She's hideous, ain't she?!"

Rhubarb whimpered, quivering in K'nuckles' grasp as she stared into the face of the man who would, no doubt, lock her up and have her sent to the noose, if he recognised her. The sailor blinked a couple of times, before realising what he'd just done, and he immediately pulled her back, towards him, hiding her in his shoulder. She was shaking even harder now, as he chewed into his lip, stroking her hair. She let out a yelp as the policeman suddenly grabbed the back of her coat, and pulled her out of K'nuckles' arms, spinning her back round to face him. She swallowed.

"… It's you."

"N-naw, naw, it's not…"

"I thought I recognised you," he said, narrowing his eyes. His mouth then stretched into a wide grin "You're the Boiled Sweet! The sulk, in the Candy Barrel, right?"

"Um… I… S'pawse…"

He laughed out loud, before looking back at the Captain "Good on ya, Mr. K'nuckles. No one ever thought they'd see this one soften. What's your secret?"

"Oh well, uh…" K'nuckles fidgeted, before awkwardly wrapping an arm around the young lady's shoulder "Just gotta… Show 'em you love 'em?"

"Love, huh? You're that serious?"

"Uh… Yeah…" he replied, quietly, before nodding, firmly continuing "Yeah, yeah, I do. I love 'er."

Rhubarb looked at him out of the corner of her eye, as he said this. It was almost like he meant it. She shivered, cheeks bloodying pink.

The Constable chuckled, shaking his head, hands on his hips "Ah, well, fair enough, I suppose… Heh… Let's see you kiss then, and I'll be on my way."

"Uh, wha'?" K'nuckles said, eyes bulging.

"Go on, kiss her. You're a couple, right? What's the trouble?" he smirked. The other man spluttered, turning to the young lady, whom he still had his arm wrapped around, as though asking for permission. It was almost laughable, how red her face had gone.

"Well, Rhubie… C'mon, pucker up," he said, awkwardly turning her to face him.

"Rhubarb! Mi nemm is Rhu-mmph" her sentence was cut short as he pushed his lips quickly against hers. He then pulled away, as quickly as he'd kissed her "… Barb."

"There, we kissed, happy?" K'nuckles grumbled, not looking him or Rhubarb in the eye.

"Oh, c'mon, that wasn't a kiss! Let's see a proper one. You want her to know you love her, don't ya?"

K'nuckles chewed into his lip, looking at Rhubarb, who was gradually starting to edge away from him. He frowned, taking her wrist "Hey, now, don't run off."

"Dis is saw embarrassin'," she peeped, as he reeled her closer. And as the constable chortled about there being nothing to be embarrassed about, the pirate-captain snaked one arm around the young woman's waist and his fingers into her hair, and fixed her tightly against him, recapturing her lips in his, eyes clamped shut.

Rhubarb's eyes shot open wide, her brow furrowing before she finally shut her eyes, in turn, awkwardly wrapping her arms around his neck, as his hands roamed about her spine, down to her backside. He smirked into the kiss, giving it a cheeky squeeze, making her jump, with a muffled yelp. She smacked his arm, when he finally released her, face as red as, well, rhubarb, while he nonchalantly stuffed his hands into pockets, looking pleased with himself.

"Hahaaa… Very nice. Right, I'll leave you two love birds alone, then," the Constable tittered, before leaning forward, elbowing K'nuckles in the ribs and muttering "Give 'er one for me, eh?"

"Uh… Yeah… Sure thing," the Captain replied, awkwardly, waiting 'til the officer was out of ear-shot, before mumbling "Jeez, what a weirdo…"

Rhubarb made no reply, staring out to nothing, unconsciously pushing at her lips, with her index and middle fingers, that had been left tingling when the Captain's lips had left them. K'nuckles looked at her, then frowned.

"Rhubie? You there, lass?"

"Huh? Uh, what?" she flinched, slightly, looking back at him. She immediately turning her attention to the floor, rubbing her sprained wrist.

"… I said he's a bit of a weirdo."

"Oh, uh, yih. Yih, he is… But uh…" Rhubarb span on her heel, stomping up to Flapjack and ripping the Captain's hat from his head, gathering her hair up, and pushing the hat back down on her head, hiding her eyes. And her blush "A-at least 'e di'n't recognise me, eh?"

"Yeah, I guess…" K'nuckles replied, distantly. She was acting weird… Weirdo. He shook his head, breaking into a wide grin "Ah well. I gotta kiss outta this. I'm happy."

"Wait a minute…"

The Constable had quickly glanced at Rhubarb's wanted poster, nailed into the fence, and had now turned on his heel, making his way back toward to the Captain, his Cabin-Boy, and the battered-up sulk, quietly unclipping his hand cuffs from his belt. K'nuckles' ears pricked at the sound of his footsteps on the wooden docks, and turned his head, glancing backward.

"Shit! Run!"

He then started at a run, picking up Flapjack in his arms, who screamed and whined, thrashing around in despair, before scrabbling up onto the Captain's shoulders, calling behind them, to the innocent convict, who shrieked and panicked, galloping after them, the officer hot on her tail "Rhubarb, c'mon, you gotta run faster!"

"I can't run any faster!" she snapped to the boy, looking briefly over her shoulder, and then back in front of her, letting out a scream as K'nuckles suddenly swooped back to face her and grabbed at her hand, dragging her along as he pegged it off down the dock as fast as those rickety, wooden legs could carry him "Ow, ow, ow! Yer' hurtin' me!"

"Shut up!"

"K'nuckles, y-yer hand's rattlin'!"

"I said SHUT UP."

This was followed by a loud, painful thud as Rhubarb tripped and fell hard against the ground, in a heap, clutching the Captain's wooden hand in hers, while he continued to speed off down the dock. And before he even realised he was missing a hand and a young lady, there was a struggle, a click of locking hand cuffs and a victorious guffaw and exclamation of "Gotcha! Wait 'til the boys see this!", so by the time K'nuckles finally looked back, Rhubarb was being dragged off, in the opposite direction, pleading her innocence.

"Cap'n! He got Rhubarb!"

"N-n-no-wait!" The Constable paused, looking over his shoulder with a narrowed eye as K'nuckles drew closer, chewing into his lip "Constable, c'mon, does she _look_ like a murderer to you?"

The officer looked from Rhubarb's face, to her face on the poster "… Well… She has a wanted poster. So… Yes."

"B-but I'm not!"

"She's a nurse!"

"K'nuckles!" Rhubarb snapped, flushing "Dawn't tell 'im that!"

"What? Why not, it's true! Nurses don't kill people! Well… Not on purpose… Sometimes they screw up, like when one of my crew members lost a leg, when I was in the navy, and his nurse didn't look after him properly, and he died of some sort of infection… Some people said she had it out for him, though, 'cos he turned her down for a date, when they were younger, so she might have done it on purpose-"

"K'NUCKLES! SHUT UP!"

"Look, I don't have time for this. C'mon, lets get you locked up, safe and sound. If you come quietly, we'll try and make it quick and painless, t'morrah."

She swallowed "… I-it?"

"Yeah. Y'know, when we hang ya."

"K'nuckles!" she shrieked, in despair.

"W-wait!"

"Fate waits for no one, Captain. Kiss her goodbye."

"I don't wanna kiss 'er! I wanna take 'er home! Where she belongs!"

"Only place she belongs is the gallows."

"B-but… I-I'm innocent," her voice was shaking. She span round, dizzily, pushing her face up into the Captain's, nose bumping his "T-tell him I'm innocent. I nebber killed knaw one, you knaw I didn't, tell him!"

"Officer, ple-"

"I'M NOT A MUR-DRAH!" she kicked the officer hard between his legs, and he fell to his knees, clutching his groin as she span round and scrambled messily away, in an unbalanced sprint for freedom.

He wheezed, eyes a water, before pulling a whistle from his pocket, with a shaking hand, and blowing into it, as hard as he could, over and over again.

"She's getting away!" he cried "Somebody stop her!"

Heavy gasps for limited breath and angry cries of determined men, searching for a good few minutes of glory. Cries and exclamations of "LEAVE HER ALONE!" and "RHUBIE, RUN." A cabin-boy leaping onto the back of a muscular sailor, and then being thrown off, hard against a crate, and his Captain losing sight of the task at hand, and instinctively going to make sure he was all right. An innocent convict tripping over nothing, and then being pinned down, struggling against the wooden decking, as handcuffs were clicked into place, and she was finally, finally captured. Convict heaved to feet, backs patted in congratulations, and the young woman was towed off down the street, head down, quaking in the metal and flesh that encased her, eyes clamped shut, and stinging with terrified tears.

K'nuckles could only watch, his mouth agape.

They'd got her…

And when they get you… They kill you.


	7. Six

Six

As a child, Captain K'nuckles spent a lot of time circling the high walls of Stormalong Prison, listening to the gruesome, miserable stories each barred-up window had to share. Pathetic fallacy, he foggily remembered; when the weather and setting fits whatever mood is set, and whenever he'd draw closer to the prison, the sky would grow dark and noisy, rain pouring relentlessly from the sky. He'd pull his shirt up and cover his head, before sitting down, outside which ever window took his fancy, and peeping to the prisoners, for a story, or two. It was terrifying, all alone, with only a few bars between him and murderers, crooks and outlaws, but he liked it. He liked it a lot. He liked the rain and the storm clouds and the mere thrill of being where Mamma said he shouldn't.

But now, fully grown, and gradually aging, K'nuckles didn't feel this same thrill or excitement, as he quietly asked permission to enter, at the gate. He was checked down for weapons or keys or whatever might cause harm, or assist an escape, before he requested to see the Prison's latest addition.

A guard lead him through twisting, stone corridors, grey and bleak, and up a few stairs, uneven and too steep, before he was delivered onto the ward he desired. He was guided past cell after cell, each one with rowdy criminals, some of which he knew, personally. Pirates and general layabouts, caught stealing; crimes he, himself had committed, and he, himself, had done his time for. He knew they'd be out, in a few more months, at the most, just as he had been. Funny, how the guilty was let free, and the innocent was to be left, to hang.

"She's just up there."

"Thanks, Officer."

He made his way up the ward, alone, now, peering briefly into one cell, where three or so prisoners were crammed up against the bars that separated them from the next, whistling and snapping their fingers, as though trying to get someone's attention. He walked on, only glancing briefly into the cell, next door, seeing nothing, at first.

"C'mon, sweet cheeks, just a little closer… We don't bite…"

"Naw, but I do…"

He paused, double-taking the cell that had passed him by, to finally notice someone huddled up in the corner, hugging her knees to her chest, her face downcast to the floor. He then looked at the hands, that were reaching to her, making her shrink and further against the wall. He scowled, going back to the cell, with the men and giving the bars a good kick, smacking a wooden hand between them at the same time, so they clanged and rattled, making them flinch "Hey, hey, leave 'er alone, a'right? She's not doing well, don't make her worse!"

"Who're you s'posed to be? Her dad?" one sneered, but, slowly, they all shuffled from the bars, and went about their own business, the Captain giving them one last steely glare, before approaching the bars of Rhubarb's cell.

"… Hello."

"… Hellaw."

An awkward silence hung noisily between them, as K'nuckles scratched his cheek, and Rhubarb traced shapes in the dust, on the cell floor. She heaved herself to her feet. She was still wearing his coat and she had been holding his hat in her hands. And as she slowly approached the bars, she reached through, hat in hand, and pushed it onto his head, giving it a pat, for good measure.

"… I looked after it…"

The Captain smiled, slightly, tipping it to her, in thanks.

"… Where's yer sling?"

"Lost it…"

"You alright?"

"Wrist's fine. Just aches…"

"… YOU alright?"

She looked him briefly in the eye, then down at her feet. She heaved a deep sigh, rubbing the back of her neck, before stiffly shaking her head. K'nuckles looked upon her with eyes of pure pity and guilt, as her face lowered further still, hair falling forward, with no hint of any features, behind it. He fidgeted uncomfortably; shifting his weight from one wooden leg, to the other, before circling his hand around a bar, drawing his face towards her, nose slotting cleanly between the metal. They said nothing, only stood, before Rhubarb finally turned her attention to the solid brick wall on her right, not looking at him, or anything else, just one singular spot as she whispered "… I'm saw scared…"

The Captain inhaled a short, sharp intake of breath, at those three mumbled words, before moving his hand from the bar, to her face, cupping her cheek and tilting her head to look at him. Her eyes refused to meet his, as though ashamed of being afraid of the noose. But she had no reason to feel the shame that she did. He would very, very rarely admit this, but, he was the one who should be ashamed. He should have known that simply jumping to conclusions would only cause havoc amongst the, usually, comically over-dramatic residents of Stormalong Harbour. She still wouldn't look at him.

"… Rhubie, look at me."

She simply wouldn't.

"Rhubarb, please. If ya don't look at me, then ya won't know that I'm bein' sincere, when I tells ya what I'm gunna tells ya," there was a pause where she struggled a little, in his grasp, before, finally, she lifted her eyes to meet his "… I'm sorry, awright?"

"… Sorry…?" she echoed, before gripping his wrist and pulling her face from his grasp "Sorry, are ya? I t'ought you were my _friend_, K'nuckles. Why would you… ebber t'ink what you did, o' me

"It just… made sense at the time…"

"Well, it wasn't true! Why'd you habta let it spread? I'm bein' HUNG 'cos o' YOUR stoopid rumour!"

"Rhubarb, I'm sorry, OK? What, you think I WANTED this to happen? You think I LIKE havin' you locked up, on the last mile, waitin' for them t'tie you up, and drop you down?" he looked her up and down "… That coat you're wearin'; it's mine. And you're gunna to be hung in it, Rhubie. You're gunna be hung in MY coat."

"Mi nemm is RHUBARB! Stop callin' me Rhubie!" she shrieked, throwing herself against the bars, gripping them and rattling them on their hinges, like an animal held captive "And yer cawt? Yeah, yeah, heeuh, you can hab yer stinkin' cawt!"

She stepped back from the bars, ripping the coat from her and throwing it to the ground, stamping into it. She hacked, then spat, before kicking it towards the bars, for him to pick up. Rhubarb then turned away, head in her hands, breathing heavily, her chest heaving up and down, intakes shrill and high-pitched. And panicked. Her eyes snapped back to him as he slowly, cautiously bent down to pick up his coat, before she let out a short desperate gasp, and swiped it out of his reach, before he could so much as touch it "Naw, naw… I-I want it…"

K'nuckles watched her as she hugged it to her, eyes cast down, distantly, to the floor, before wiping off the saliva she had just spat onto it, with her sleeve, then slipping it back on, taking the lapels and wrapping it around her, burying her nose in the collar. His eyes remained on this, for a moment longer, fascinated. It was almost like it was a comfort to her… But… He was the reason she was in there, in the first place, he thought, guiltily, so why should anything of his bring her any solace, at all?

She certainly seemed to calm down, any hint of anger or panic leaving her. She just looked sad, now.

He cocked his head to the side "You alright?"

She meekly nodded her head, wiping her eyes and nose on his sleeve, sniffing. He shook his head, in pure pity and dire disbelief, as she hugged his coat tighter around her, drawing closer to him and resting her forehead against the bars, face stretching into one of misery, and misery alone, as her shoulders shook with quite, breathy sobs. K'nuckles sighed, heavily, resting his forehead, against the bars, in turn, eyes closed, only listening. He opened an eye, briefly. His arm was still empty of a hand, after it had come loose, during one of the chases, the day before; he never got round to going to look for it. He couldn't bring himself too, yet.

It'd taken him all his might to heave himself from bed, that afternoon, having laid there, eyes staring upward at the roof of Bubbie's mouth, blinking open and closed, dreading getting up, just in case there was a crowd and a wooden decking and rope. He had never felt so responsible for something in his entire life. Had never felt so _guilty_. It was killing him. He chewed into his lip, brow furrowing, and eyes clamped shut, once more.

"Rhubie, please… Please, just stop crying… I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…"

She choked on her tears, sniffling, wiping her eyes up the sleeves of his coat, before her hands returned to grip the bars, and for her forehead to rest, against them. The couldn't help but sniff himself, immediately standing up straight and flicking a tear from his eye, before could notice, blinking a couple of times, and taking a few deep breaths. Then something caught his eye, as he focused back into her cell.

A drain cover, in the cobbled stone flooring, which, with a good push from the underneath, would no doubt come away, easy as buttering bread. Idiots. He frowned.

"Rhubarb… I'm gonna go, alri-"

"N-no, please!" she cried bringing a hand to her mouth, and shaking her head, eyes wide, teary and fearful, terrified of being alone "P-please, y-you gotta stay wid me, please… I'm saw scared…"

"Rhubie I-"

"Please, K'nuckles."

"… Wh… Wh-when do you need to walk the mile?"

"… T'ree days, dey say…"

"But the Constable said it was today…"

"Naw… N-naw, I t'ink he wuh tryin' to scare me… I dunnaw… B-but… P-please, you can't gaw-"

"I hav'ta, Rhubie," he replied, regretfully, reaching through the bars and taking one of her hands, giving it a squeeze "They'll kick me out, eventually, anyway. I'll be back to see ya, tomorrow, though, I promise."

She sniffled, uncontrollably, resting her head back against the bars and sobbing a second time, and all he could do was squeeze her hand and chew into his lip. Finally, he loosened his grip on her hand, and stepped back from the cell. As he turned to make his way back up the ward, he repeated a "Promise."

"W-wai-wait!"

"Rhubie, I gotta-"

"N-naw, naw," she sniffled, before rummaging into the pocket of his coat. She then pulled out his missing hand. He blinked at her, stepping back towards the bar "I wuh haw'din' it dee whawle time I wuh bein' chased… T'ought you'd wan' it back…

"My hand," she gave a short nod, sniffing, heavily, before beckoning his empty wrist through the bars. He did as she silently told, and she gently took his arm and clicked the hand back into its rightful place, still holding onto it, when it was fixed tight. He smiled ever so slightly, squeezing her hand, again "… Thanks, Rhubarb."

She only nodded, a couple of times, not letting go of his hand, for a moment, as he backed from the bars. He couldn't feel it, but judging by her knuckles, having stretched white, she was holding onto him so, so tightly… She gave it one final squeeze, before sniffling, and then gradually letting go, hand remaining stretched through the bars to wave a meek goodbye, as he ambled down the ward. Unbeknownst to her; his face bore an expression of pure determination, mulling over foggy memories of the sewage system of Stormalong, trying to remember which pipes and drains lead where.

He'd be back to see her.

Yes, he'd be bloody back to see her.


	8. Seven

Seven.

The prison was quiet with sleep as the clock struck one, later that night, wee hours of the morning to those who didn't live by the rule; "It's not the next day 'til I've been to sleep, and then woken up." It certainly wasn't the morning, to Rhubarb. She hadn't slept. She didn't plan on doing so, either, sat cross-legged on the pathetic little mattress, provided for her, having found a hole in the sheets, after a blind feel-around, pulling out strands of hay, one by one, head in her hand as she stared distantly into the darkness. She only wished the dark didn't make her so nervous, and unsettled. Too many horror stories, she supposed. One could never be too sure when a monster, fashioned out of rotting body parts, or a creature with blood-sucking tendencies and a specific dislike for sunlight might creep out from the darkness. Or maybe even some executioner with a ready-tied noose. Either way, whatever was in the dark, she didn't want to know about it. She heaved a deep sigh, looking to the window, set high in the wall, barred up and small, letting weak slivers of cold, pale moonlight peer in, lighting only a patch of cobbled stone floor, with the round drain cover slid into place.

She'd tried to pry this drain open, but from the inside the cell, it was impossible, no grips or room to slip fingers beneath the heavy metal cover.

Stupid drain.

Stupid, loathsome everything. She hated it. Whatever it was, she hated it, be it her situation, or the bars in her window.

She hate. Hate. Hated it.

She rose to her feet, pulling her over-sized trousers up a little further around her waist as they threatened to fall down, and stood up on her tip-toes, gripping what could have been considered a window sill, and peeping up into the night. All she could see was the moon, and a few black, shadowed rooftops. No other life. No one to save her. A small hum vibrated in her throat, disappointed.

She wouldn't have even come to Stormalong in the first place, had she not made those stupid, childish mistakes. Maybe this was her punishment for wronging her family's face, in society.

It didn't really matter anymore, though.

Sitting in her cell, Rhubarb was more or less good for dead.

She jumped at the sudden sound of distant, scuttling footsteps; too heavy to be a rat, but too light to be a man. And too echoed to be in the corridors. It was almost like… It sounded again, louder this time around, followed by high-pitched pants. Yes, it was definitely like - It was like something was coming up the drain pipe. She stared at the cover, in the dim moonlight, considering moving towards it, but then deciding it'd be best to shrink back against the wall, and pretend she wasn't there.

She certainly wished she wasn't there.

The footsteps were growing closer, louder, rattling metallically beneath the drain cover, before it suddenly wobbled, and shifted. She took in a sharp breath, looking briefly into the darkness of the cell, next on, where it's prisoners simply snored away, oblivious. With a nervous swallowing of nothing, she slowly looked back to the cover as it wobbled and heavily rattled, a second time, rising slightly upwards, and then scraping against the stone floor. There was a pause, when the drain was pushed entirely open…

"HEY RHUBARB!"

"SHIT!" she hissed and swiped her pillow off her bed, slamming it down on the invader's head.

"No, wait, Rhubarb, it's me!"

Rhubarb gasped, slapping a hand over their mouth, shushing them, keening her ears and listening closely for any disgruntled snorts, as inmates were drawn from sleep. Nothing was changed, she decided, before finally turning her eyes back to the sudden head, in the drain. She squinted.

"… Flapjack…?"

"Hey, Rhubarb," he repeated, in a whisper.

"What are you doing heeuh, stupid boy?"

"I'm here to rescue you!" he replied, brightly, grinning at her, wriggling his arms through the drain, and grabbing her hand, giving it a tug "C'mon, it's all figured out, don't worry."

"Flapjack, I can't just-"

"But Rhubarb," even in the dimness of the moon's light, Rhubarb could see Flapjack's pupils over-dramatically dilate, sparkling and shining, wobbling in misery, lower lip stuck out in a pout "You'll die, otherwise."

"But what if dey catch me? My fate will be eben worse."

"They won't."

"But what if they do?"

"They _won't_," he replied, frowning.

"How do you know?"

"Adventurer's intuition."

"Of course…"

The young woman's ears pricked at the distant clunk of boots on cobbled flooring. It was distant, but it was there. Someone was coming.

"Flapjack, gaw, you'll get yourself into trouble."

"Come with me!"

"I can't…" the footsteps were growing closer… Rhubarb was sick of being afraid of footsteps. She frowned, as the little boy pleaded silently with her, with those big blue eyes of his, and then looked over her shoulder into the dark, those footsteps now accompanied by a clinking of keys. She didn't want to live what was rest of her life, in fear of footsteps and the cheerful singing of tiddly om, pom, pom. She swallowed "… Gaw, gaw, I'm comin'."

"Hoora-"

"GAW!" she hissed, and the boy's head shot back inside, out of sight. She quickly got up, and covered the provided pillow up, in the sheets to create the illusion that someone was actually in that bed. She headed back to the drain, peering through to the little boy, who smiled, stepping out of the way.

"Kay, c'mon."

Rhubarb sat on the floor, and slipped her legs through the opening, sliding forward, further and further, 'til she was no longer sat on the floor. She blinked a couple of times when she didn't fall through, however. She wiggled.

"… You're jawkin' me.."

"What? What's wrong?"

"I'm stuck," she wriggled, panicking now, as the footsteps grew ever closer. She took hold of the drain cover "Flap, you gotta pull me through."

"Rhubarb, is your butt too big?"

"Dawn't ask questions, just pull!" she hissed. Flapjack took hold of her ankles, and started to tug, Rhubarb wincing in pain as her hips were squeezed through, and then finally, she slid free, pulling the drain with her, putting it back into place. A candle flickered in the hand of a prison guard, as he went on a patrol of the cells, more so out of boredom, than actually needing to. He strode past Rhubarb's cell, only glancing, briefly. He almost felt sorry for the girl, all curled up in her bed. She must have felt ever so guilty for the crimes she'd committed.

Rhubarb had to get down onto her hands and knees, as Flapjack, who only had to duck, lead her through the drainage systems, damp, with the smell of stale sewage hanging in the air. As they ventured through her escape route, it came to her attention how comically stupid the people of Stormalong were, making silly mistakes, such as leaving a drain, which, she supposed, was once connected to _something_, in a cell which could, easily act as an escape route, if your connections consisted of a small cabin-boy with a hunger for adventure and general heroism. Still, it just made things easier for her, she supposed.

It took about twenty minutes for Flapjack to remember his way out and for them to finally reach a clearing, disregarding the total of ten minutes spent trying to squeeze the convict through tighter parts of the drain.

"C'mon, it's this way."

Flapjack was the first to crawl from the drain, out into the sewer, lying down on his stomach and sliding backwards, taking a brief moment to dangle from the opening, before dropping onto the floor, and landing flat on his back. He laughed out loud.

"Owie."

"You got 'er?"

"Yeah, I got her."

"Clever boy."

Rhubarb let out a long breath, perhaps out of relief, as this brief conversation reached her ears, and she shifted, gradually, onto her stomach, getting stuck, momentarily, before managing to wriggle backwards out of the drain, dangling, as the boy had done, before dropping down, and landing heavily on her feet, knees threatening to give way. As she managed to maintain her balance, she looked from Flapjack, to the owner of the second voice.

"K'nuckles," she breathed, snaking her arms around him and burying her nose in his shoulder. The sailor blinked a couple of times, before smiling slightly, and briefly hugging her, in return, winking at his cabin-boy, who heaved and gagged, comically, in disgust. But even when the Captain's arms dropped down, Rhubarb still clung to him, eyes clamped shut. He frowned.

"OK, Rhubie, that's enough," he grumbled, prying her from him, holding her shoulders, as though expecting her to throw herself onto him, again, She didn't however; she remained still, with her head down. Almost embarrassed, she looked. He smirked "I know I'm irresistible, but we really need to focus, here."

She made a low growl, in her throat, face prominently red, even in the dim light of the lantern, at their feet "Shut up. I'm happy tuh be out, can ye' blame me?"

K'nuckles only chortled, looking smug and arrogant, shaking his head as the woman fumed, then scooped up the lantern, storming away from them "Let's just get out of heeuh."

"You're going the wrong way."

It was safe to say that helping Rhubarb break out of prison was one of the most entertaining things the Captain had done in a while. Especially as she then turned on her heel a little too vigorously, and went falling backwards into the sewer's water.

K'nuckles laughed long and loud, as Rhubarb sloshed about in the water for a moment, spluttering, before heaving herself up and scrabbling onto the dry sewer bank, choking in disgust. She lay still, slumped on the ground, for a good minute or so, simply breathing heavily, clenching and unclenching her fists until the Captain's laughter finally died down. There was a still silence…

"… C'mon, Rhubie, we gotta get going. Flapjack, see if she's OK."

"Aye, aye, Cap'n," the boy saluted, heading over to Rhubarb as K'nuckles fished in the water for the lantern. The boy got down on his knees "Hey, Rhubarb."

"God, damn it, Rhubie. It's all wet!"

"You OK?"

Rhubarb heaved a deep sigh, pushing herself onto her knees and straightening her back, so she could squint at him in the dark "…Naw… But, gotta be."

Flapjack looked at her, for a moment, before smiling a little, and patting her head "Don't worry, Rhubie-"

"-Rhubarb-"

"Rhubarb, we'll get you outta here. Me and Cap'n are gonna take good care o' you, yessirree."

"… Tengky," she replied, quietly, hesitating, and then ruffling his hair. He laughed, readjusting his sailors cap, before, pushing himself to his feet again, and then taking her wrists and helping her up, too. She sighed heavily, before looking at the Captain "… What do you plan to do with me, anyway?"

"I dunno. Keep ya, I guess."

"What?"

"Cap'n! She's not gonna be our pet, silly."

"Well, maybe not yours, but I'll make her mine," K'nuckles smirked, winking at her. She gritted her teeth, face reddening.

Flapjack only blinked "… So… Is she gonna be like, a cat?"

"Maybe."

"Or a dog?"

"Proba-"

"AWRIGHT," Rhubarb cut in, raising her hands up, interrupting any put downs before they had the  
chance to leave the Captain's lips. She frowned "… Now, seriously. What ya gonna do wid me?"

"Only thing we know how to do."

"Which is?"

"Tell 'er, Flap."

"ADVENTURE!"

"… Adventure?"

"No, Rhubarb, you gotta say it like me!"

"… ADVENTURE?" she repeated. K'nuckles sniggered "… What d'ye' mean, ADVENTURE?"

"We're gonna set sail, Beautiful. Get you away from here, before somebody notices you're gone."

"It was Captain K'nuckles's idea."

"Hey, hey, no need to go tellin' details, Flap," K'nuckles snapped, flapping his hands at the boy. The convict crossed her arms, smiling a little, as the sailor stared her dead in the face, for a moment, before turning and ambling along to sewer's route, in the direction of an open manhole.

"Saw, d'zat me you'd miss me, if I were to be hung, K'nuckles?"

"No, it means I don't want to live with yer corpse hangin' over my head."

"Cap'n, what's a corpse?"

"A dead person."

"Have you ever been one?"

"Nearly."

"Wow…"

Rhubarb's trademark frown resided on her face, once more "Awkay, awkay, saw, dee plan is, you two are sneakin' me outta prison-"

"Right."

"Bundlin' me into a whale."

"Also right."

"And den we gawin' sailin'?"

"Righto, m'dear," K'nuckles clapped his hands, a couple of times "You, me, Flap and the whale."

"We're gonna have a _whale_ of a time, ah, Cap'n?"

"Couldn't o' put it better m-"

"Wait, wait, naw, dis is a bad idea. I can't gaw sailin'!"

The two of them paused, looking at each other, and then at the young woman. The Captain frowned "Why not?"

"Because I get se-… Because… Because what if dey catch us? You two will pay dee price for breakin' out and harbourin' a foogitive."

"They won't catch us, Rhubie."

"Bubbie's the fastest whale in the seven seas!"

"What if someone catches us, as yer sneakin' me around."

"Oh, that's what I have this for," K'nuckles lifted his hat from his head, and pulled a folded cloth out, from underneath. He took two corners, and with a flick of his wrists, unfolded it out, revealing it to be bag. He then opened it up, lowering it down to her feet "In ye' get."

She only stared down at it "… Yer jawkin' me."

"No joke, Rhubie. No joke."

"You are NOT carryin' me round in a bag!"

K'nuckles frowned, standing back up straight again. There was a brief second where he glanced at Flapjack, catching his eye, who looked back, and then slowly nodded his head, tip-toeing round, and ducking down on all fours, behind Rhubarb's legs, unbeknownst to the young lady. The Captain smirked, a little "Yeah… Yeah, you're right, Rhubie, it was mean o' me to expect a lady to be carried around in a bag…"

"… Not mean, but-"

"C'mere, gimme a hug."

It was almost laughable how embarrassed Rhubarb looked, at his words, as her fussing and fidgeting was caught by the moonlight. She then vigorously shook her head "Naw, leave me."

"Aw, c'mon, that hug before was nice, I want another!" she looked unsurely at him, not moving a muscle. He smirked shrugging his shoulders, before stepping towards her "Fine, I'll just come to you, then."

Rhubarb fidgeted on the spot, but seemed to submit to him as he approached, almost spreading her arms toward him, but as he suddenly stuck his hands out and pushed hard at her shoulders, any submission was soon replaced with a yelp as she toppled backwards, over Flapjack, landing flat on her back, with a painful thud.

"Hold still, Rhubie."

"K'nuckles, you slimey littl-"

In a couple of swift movements, the Captain tossed the bag to Flapjack, and then grabbed Rhubarb by her ankles, clamping her legs together and lifting her up, her head barely an inch above the ground as she thrashed and struggled in his grasp. The cabin-boy opened up the back and slotted the opening beneath her head.

"Flapjack, dawn't you-" he pulled the bag up, over her face, and K'nuckles let go of her ankles, letting her fall heavily to the floor, thrashing and flopping about in the bag, her shouts and cries muffled as the bag was then clamped shut at her feet.

"… Cap'n, what do we do now?"

The Captain frowned, in thought, before reaching toward the boy and swiping the handkerchief from his neck. He then ripped it into one singular strip, and tied it tightly around it around the bottom of the bag "There. Perfect."

The two of them looked at the bag as the young woman struggled around inside, shrieking muffled obscenities, feet kicking at the seams of her prison. It resembled a very large, brown slug with the unusual ability to buck like an angry bull. A bull-slug… A blug. Flapjack tilted his head to the side.

"… Cap'n."

"Yeah, boy?"

"… If we pick Rhubarb up…"

"Yeah?"

"And you carry her around, over your shoulder, like we planned?"

"Uh huh?"

"Won't it kinda look like we're sneaking a body around?"

K'nuckles looked from the boy, to the bag that had finally finished in its thrashing, and lay still. He picked it up, slumping it over his shoulder "Nah, it's fine. If anyone asks, it's full o' laundry… Or somethin'."

Flapjack laughed out loud "Captain, you're a genius!"

"I know, boy. I know."

Getting the young lady about was simple enough, once she'd been hoisted up, out of the sewer, and into the centre of town. Most people were asleep by this time; and they were safe, so long as they didn't go near the Candy Barrel, where the usual night owls would dwell, with nothing better to do. They hurriedly crept about, in silence, the only sound being that of K'nuckles's boots heavily clunking on the wooden decking, and the occasional, frustrated groan, from the bag over his shoulder. They paused, for a moment, in a darkened alley, and the Captain let the bag slip from his shoulder onto the ground, with a thud, as he rubbed at his collar bone "Geez, Rhubie, I think you need to lose a bit o' weight, Doll."

The bag thrashed around angrily, but he simply ignored it, parking himself on a crate "Hey, Flap, check to see if there's anyone, out there."

The boy did as he was told, poking his head out, onto the street. This was the last street the two of them, plus their fugitive, had to take, before they made it back to Bubbie, and it seemed that it was free of any potential witnesses. Just a few metres, and they'd be home-free. And Captain would take little Jackers on an adventure. Flapjack buzzed with excitement "There's nobody there Cap'n! We did it!"

"Ahaaa, amazing," K'nuckles replied, beaming "I've never done a prison break before. Well, not successfully, anyway."

"What happened, Cap'n?"

"I was breakin' out a good ole' buddy o' mine-"

"What was his name?"

The hesitation and chewing of his lower lip went unnoticed, by the little boy "Um… I forget. I uh, hit my head and got amnesia. I can remember most things. Just not names."

"Is that why you called me Theodore, once?"

"… Sure."

A good ten minutes was spent concocting and telling this random little story about a prison break that never was, to the easily impressed little boy. And during this ten minutes, Rhubarb only lay in the darkness of her sack, sulking. It was getting ridiculous. She couldn't believe they were just _sitting_ there, chatting, while she lay tied up in a bag. A really stuffy bag. She grunted and grumbled, after a few minutes, rolling onto her side in the bag, and then onto her back, kicking up her legs and pushing at the sides, in an attempt to get out. The seams cracked, but still, she was not free. She sighed heavily, before trying again, and the seams gave another crack. Back onto her belly, and she gave one more try for freedom, the seams cracking 'til the top burst, allowing her to see out into the dimly-lit alley way in which her "saviours" were having their pleasant little chat. She was about to try again, when she was suddenly, roughly gathered up in the Captain's arms and then slung over his shoulder.

"Right, Flap, let's get a move on."

Rhubarb grunted, in frustration.

"Aye, aye, Cap'n!"

Flapjack peaked round the corner, a second time, to confirm that the coast was still clear, before he and the Captain made for home, down their last, long street, past the same-old shops. Suddenly a door shot open, light spilling out onto the deck, the shadow of a man displayed in the sudden yellow, making K'nuckles and his cabin-boy freeze mid-run.

"Why, Captain K'nuckles…" Dr. Barber began, squinting at them, in the dark, stepping from the doorway to get a better look at him, and the boy and their… Sack. He frowned "Prey, what is in that bag you have, slung over your shoulder?"

"It's Rhu-"

K'nuckles slapped a hand over Flapjack's mouth, before grinning innocently at the doctor "It's my laundry…"

"Laundry, hmm…?" he bought a hand to his chin, narrowing an eye as he drew closer and inspected the bag. Rhubarb swallowed from inside, tempted to wiggle backwards into the bag, away from the broken seam "… Hmm… Very… Bulky looking laundry, Captain."

Bulky? The young lady scowled.

"Well, I'm a bulky guy. Y'know, all this muscle has to go somewhere!" K'nuckles flexed his arms, as though proving a point, shrugging the bag, on his shoulder. It was this shrug that lead Rhubarb to slide forward slightly, pushed up against the seam of the bag. She could only pray that he didn't do it again. Of course, wishes very rarely come true, as long as K'nuckles is involved.

With another heavy shrug, and another flexing of his muscles, the seams gave a further, final crack, and Rhubarb found herself falling head first out of the sack, from his shoulder, landing in a heap at the doctor's feet.

The three others could only stare at her.

"… Um…" K'nuckles bent down, awkwardly, trying to gather the sulk back up in his arms again, not being able to get a good grip on her as he concentrated on Dr. Barber's confused face. He cleared his throat "… Heh… Dropped my laundry…"

The Barber glanced from the sailor to the young lady who remained sprawled on the floor, looking both nervous and severely irritated as the Captain kept trying to pick her up, and then stupidly dropped her back down.

"… Hello, Ms. Rhubarb."

"Hellaw, Boss…" she grunted, flicking her index and middle finger from her temple, in a greeting.

"Mm… Yes. Are you being smuggled, somewhere?"

"Apparently."

"Cap'n!" Flapjack hissed, flapping his hands, and then pointing up the dock, to a couple of drunken silhouettes stumbling toward them "Somebody's coming!"

"Oh, this is ridiculous," K'nuckles gave up on trying to pick Rhubarb up and simply grabbed her ankles, dragging her through the doorway, shoulder the Barber out of her way "You don't mind harbourin' a fugitive, for a moment, do ye', Doc?"

"Oh, yes, I heard about that… Never thought you a murderer, Ms. Rhubarb…"

"Needuh did I, 'til K'nuckles decided I was one."

"Hey, hey, I rescued you, don't you go pinnin' the blame on me."

It was lucky, really, that Rhubarb of all people, had fallen out of the Captain's sack, in the wee hours of that morning, as Dr. Barber, whose hands were not quite as steady as they usually were, so late in the working day, was just finishing up with a patient, who was in need of having a wound stitched up. As payment for harbouring a fugitive for a few minutes, the dark young woman scrubbed up her hands and went about stitching the patient's arm, enlightening the Doctor on her accusation, capture and rescue. And, against K'nuckles' wishes, she pinned the blame on him for anything that came to mind.

Dr. Barber was an… Interesting man, to say the least. He seemed normal enough as a barber… Usually; talking to his customer's about their lives, just as any barber would, despite not really giving a monkey's about what they were saying. But then, there was something rather… Twisted, in him. Perhaps it was the monotone drone that was his voice, or the over-sized gums that lined his crooked teeth. Maybe it was the twinkle in his eye when someone was in need of a little… Surgery. Whatever it was, it was unnerving to see the Doctor at work, to say the least.

K'nuckles, truth be told, was actually somewhat afraid of him. You could say that Dr. Barber wouldn't harm a fly. But then, there's the cold realisation that he hurts for a living; you walk into that office and your heart threatens to fall out your ass. At least, that's how it worked with the Captain. He remembered the severe case of candy-rot he got, a while back, after eating too much candy, in one night. Mind and body racked with the unbeatable craving for sugar, K'nuckles didn't really have much concept of what the Doctor was planning to do to him, to cure it. But when Flapjack informed him, long after his cravings had passed, that it involved a dirty toilet brush, and a swarm of wasps in his throat, it kind of put him off visiting the good, old Doctor for a while.

So as he and his cabin boy sat in the Doctor's surgery, while he and Ms. Rhubarb casually talked over a patient's seeping wound, about what she had been up to the past couple of days, the old Captain couldn't help but notice something different, about the Doctor. It seemed that he and Rhubarb had developed, he supposed, a rapport of sorts, with one another; one of those odd little ones where snide comments were made, but never really taken by offence. There was even a fair amount of smiling… even from Rhubarb; Ms. Misery-Guts, the girl who would sit at the bar night after night and stare mournfully into a half-empty glass of candy.

He'd never seen the Barber get on _that_ well, with anybody. Mind, he'd never seen anyone who shared a common interest with him, either. Maybe it was this, that he liked.

K'nuckles turned his gaze to look at Rhubarb, cocking his head to the side. He couldn't help but wonder why _anyone_ would share the interest of surgery with the Barber, though. It gave most everyone he knew the shivers to talk about, and watching the young lady poke in and out of this persons flesh with a needle and thread as casually as the Captain would order a glass of candy, was just... Odd. So much so that he couldn't keep a cold shiver from rattling up and down his spine.

He puzzled over the matter for a while, actually. He'd never thought about it when she'd told him nursing was what she wanted to do; he was more concerned about being throttled by her, than her choice of career, but Rhubarb, impatient, blunt and a little snobbish in her ways... The Captain wasn't sure if nursing, and caring for people was really her thing. She seemed too bitter to really _care_ about anybody. But then, there she was, finishing up with stitching this miserable-looking sailor's wound, asking him if he was all right and if there was anything she could do for him, to make him feel more comfortable. And then sat across from her was Dr. Barber, approvingly nodding his head. And then Rhubarb was grinning, looking pleased with herself, as she sent the patient on his way. Then she and her rescuers were sent on their way, in turn, but not without a kind thank-you from the Barber Surgeon, a wish of good fortune, in her escape. And then she was grinning, nodding her head, shaking his hand, and looking very pleased with herself, before heading out of the shop with a spring in her step.

A _spring_, in _Rhubarb's_ step. K'nuckles thought her ill. Then something clicked.

She wasn't ill.

She was lovesick.

The huge, pleased grins when the Barber would complement her, on her efforts, the rambled, repeated thank-yous, the banter and rapport. Ms. Rhubarb had a school-girl crush on the good old Doctor.

A cruel smirk spread across K'nuckles' face as they crept down the remainder of the dock, no one in sight to capture them and bang them up in prison.

"So," he tapped her shoulder, a cunning grin on his lips. She looked at him with an anticipated frown "You and the Doc, huh?"

"Excuse me?"

"A little old for you, eh, beautiful?"

"Uh, s'cuse me, Captain, I dawn't knaw what you me-"

"What is it about him you like? Perhaps it's that boyish-cute smile of his," he snorted in his throat, at his sarcasm, as Rhubarb stared at him, blinkered, as they ambled along "Or that endearing twinkle in his eye, when he hacks into someone's leg with a saw, hmm?"

She only continued to stare at him as he continued "Makes sense why you'd wanna be a nurse, I guess. I know the Doc, and he only lets people get close when they show an interest in his line of work."

"... K'nuckles, I have naw idea what you talkin' about."

"How far have you two gone?"

"... In what respect?"

"Ya know..." K'nuckles looked awkwardly down at his innocent, little cabin-boy who was skipping along beside him, grinning up to the stars. He then leaned a little closer, muttering quietly into the young lady's ear "Has he put it in ya, yet?"

"K'NUCKLES!"

His brain rattled in his skull as her hand clipped hard against his cheek with a painful sounding smack.

"What, WHAT? What I do!"

"I'll habb you knaw, K'nuckles, da-"

"HEY! Quit all that racket out there!" a man, fat, tired-looking and very bald, burst out of the shutters of his bedroom window, to bawl at whoever was making the racket outside, only for his enraged expression to falter for a moment "… Hey… Hey, hey! It's that murderer!"

"Shit, shit, shit, shit."

K'nuckles scooped Flapjack up in his arms and made a run for it, leaving Rhubarb to stand, and most-likely soil her underwear, petrified, as this man exclaimed about her being out and about. The Captain stopped in his tracks, looking back at her "Rhubarb, you stupid girl, what are you doing?"

"Wha'?"

"COME ON!"

Rhubarb let out a shriek, taking after them as well, as people stuck their heads out of front doors and windows to see what all the commotion was, the braver citizens starting at a confused jog, after her, as the three blurred the rest of the way down the dock, to the stairs, willing themselves not to trip over their own feet as they desended down the steps and closer toward the whale floating, fast asleep, on the water.

"Bubbie! Bubbie, Bubbie! Wake up and open up!"

Bubbie groaned, as this unusually shrill, raspy voice rattled through her ear drums and thrust her from sleep, only to see K'nuckles charging towards her, eyes wide, and mouth agape, gasping for breath as Flapjack wriggled in his arms.

"K'nuckles! What have you DONE?"

"Nothin', open up!" he cried, throwing Flapjack, head first, like a spotsman would throw a javlin, into Bubbie's now gaping mouth, before whirling his head over his shoulder, to see Rhubarb scrabbling towards him, hand out-stretched for one last final pull, into the whales mouth, as the mob on their tail began to grow. K'nuckles grabbed her wrist and swung her past him, hurtling himself in, head first, after her and slamming Bubbie's mouth shut, screaming a "GO, WOMAN, GO," for his home to speed from the dock.

The whale had no choice but to follow Captain's orders.

Spluttering in confusion, she thrust herself, top speed, from the town, mind buzzing with confusion, from the urgency, the rude awakening, the angry mob and the alien taste of a young lady on her tongue.

It wasn't unusual for Bubbie to feel like a complete stranger to the inside of her mouth.


End file.
